What do Chinese Restaurants and New York Times have in common?

Answer: My mom tried to set me up with heirs of both

Years ago, during the Clinton administration, my mom was the medical provider for Sally Reston, wife of a prolific journalist for The New York Times, NYTCo. Sally had a grandson, who went to high school in DC and dated one of Al Gore’s daughters.

My mom often visited Sally’s house. Their grandson would go over to their house after school. One day, he came over and looked very upset.

What’s wrong? My mom asks him.

“I just broke up with [Al Gore’s daughter]” he goes.

“Oh no!”

“I feel terrible,” he goes.

“My daughter’s single.” my mom injects.

“Uhh” he was speechless.

“She is very nice girl! Here, let me write down her number for you. Here you go,” she pushes a little piece of paper with my number on it toward him.

As my mom recounts this story to me that evening, I almost fainted — “Mom how could you! This is so embarrassing! anyway, I don’t wanna be his rebound girlfriend!”

She looks at me, confused: What’s so embarrassing about this? And, what is a rebound girlfriend?

I ran to my room, infuriated. Nevertheless, I sat by my phone for a while, just in case he called. The next day, at school, I recount the story to my best friend.

“He never called” I go.

“It’s a blessing in disguise,” she goes, “You don’t wanna be the rebound girlfriend.”

“Yup” I nod.

Many years later, when I was in grad school, I went home for the holidays.

While at home, the phone rings. My dad answers, and I pick up the phone too, to eavesdrop. I was bored. It was my mom on the other line.

“Hey. I’m at a Chinese restaurant.” she says in a furtive tone. “My waiter is a nice young man. I think I’ll try to set him up with Tia.”

“Wait,” my Dad goes, “Tia is educated. She likes to hang out with educated people. A waiter doesn’t seem like Tia’s type.”

“No no, he’s not just a waiter. His family owns this restaurant. He is going to night school. He’s being a waiter to make money on the side.”

“Hm, I still don’t think this is going to be a good fit.”

“But, he says he likes books.”

I hang up the phone, infuriated.

I hear my Dad continue to debate with her on the phone for a while. Eventually, my Dad wins the debate.

Thanks for the save, Dad.