If you want to help someone…shut up and listen.

Tiah.Gold
Tiah.Gold
Sep 2, 2018 · 4 min read

Words have meaning- power. They bring life to your thoughts, to your ideas, and to your emotions.

For those that know me, I am someone who likes to talk. I like to ask questions. My insatiable curiosity of the world is fuelled by my constant uncovering of answers and different perspectives through the medium of voice.

Think about it for a minute — when was the last time you were silent for more than half a day? When was the last time you were not able to use your voice? Literally or perhaps also figuratively?

The past 6 months have been a whirlwind of movement (development) and a lot of hustle. I may be fantastically awesome at many things that involve my mind, but taking care of the body, which happens to host my mind, has not been my strong suit for a number of years.

So last month my body said “righto, I guess we need to teach her a stronger lesson,” and took away my voice.

Granted it was a gradual disappearance. At first it was a sexy low voice that sounded like I worked the phone lines, and then it would come and go based on the amount of coughing I was enduring. Finally my voice just went away. I couldn’t even whisper. When I tried it hurt, and it was really not worth the effort as no one could hear me anyway.

It was a fascinating experience.

I had organised a get together for drinks before I left on my trip. I had also arranged a strategy session with a friend of mine — who was going to take my brain and put it into a more manageable byte size actions steps to help me move forward with a new venture! I had also arranged for someone to come and see the house as they were interested in staying in it while I was away. So, I had phone calls to make, last minute arrangements to complete and all that required my voice — and it was no where to be found.

At first I tried to communicate by writing down what I wanted to say and soon found that damp napkins and wet pens do not make for easy communication. Typing notes on my phone to share with others took way to long… sign language?, well it’s pretty limited to thumbs up or down..

Being comfortable with silence is something that I am ok with, once I am in a place of stillness and grounding. For example, I am blessed with some rare friendships where we are comfortable sitting in silence. We can occupy the same space and allow the energy to be exchanged with grace and ease which does not include conversation yet it brings a big smile and sense of connection and intimacy.

As I am familiar with experiences of witnessing rather then interacting, I attempted, as much as possible, to enjoy this ride of my lost of my voice and sat back to observe what was unfolding.

Interacting with the world while you have no voice is an interesting experiment. While speaking with me people would either lower their voice to a whisper or raise their voice and slow down their speech as if I was too slow to understand, or they’d stop dead in their tracks and not know how to interact. There were those that didn’t miss a beat and were able to just carry on. And those who took advantage of the situation and kept on teasing me, laughing at the fact that I am not able to respond or react to anything that they were saying.

I noticed that I was able to listen a lot more, to view my friends with much more richness as I was focused on intently listening to them. I also noticed that once I did decide to contribute I was more careful with what I was writing down which resulted in slowing everything down.

One of my friends has begun to offer free Jewish spirituality lessons at my place. I am not religious but am very interested in the deeper meaning of values and ideas, and learning about the lens of the tribe I grew up in.Ironically, his first lesson was all about gratitude and the importance of the spoken word according to the kabbalah.

Gratitude is expressed through the words we use, the actions we do, and the feelings we have. All part of the daily rituals in Judaism. I believe that your thoughts shape your reality. That your words which are a direct reflection of your subconscious mind and will craft your world.

It raised the question of how much do I listen — truly listen without spooling up a response to a conversation while mid conversation? Almost as if a barrier was suddenly there specifically to create more awareness of what my voice is and what I actually wanted to say by not being able to use it.

This experience also furthered my own perspective on having a slightly better understanding for those who actually do not have a voice — be it in a relationship, in a job, or in society.

We all live in our sheltered little bubbles which amplifies our beliefs.

How do we create space for those who do not have a voice? How do we ensure that the norm is not acceptable? How do we truly make diversity and allow for all to have a voice?

I don’t know the answer, but I sure as heck believe I have received a gift to further my perspective and had an eye opening experience acting as a gentle reminder to continue expanding my perception around being heard — truly being heard, and truly listening.

Listening to the quiet

Tiah.Gold

Tiah.Gold

Curious Human, Founder, Dreamer

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