Daddy’s Girl

A Poem About The Complicated Relationship Between a Father and a Daughter

I wish I remembered seeing you

in the crowd of my first kindergarten performance

I wish I could look back at photos of us at my parties.

I wish we had pictures from

my middle school graduation,

or my high school graduation,

or my college graduation,

or my grad school graduation.

I wish I wanted to run and tell you about my first big-girl job

wish I wanted to send you pictures of my first apartment

I wish I wanted you to teach me how to drive

I learned pretty late.

I wish I wanted you to help me pick out my first car

I wish I wanted you to teach me how to change a tire

or tell me I waited too long for an oil change

I wish I wanted to talk to you more.

I wish It were weird to go even a day without speaking.

I wish I cared to let you know I’m in a relationship now

it’s a pretty good one so far

I wish I wanted to tell you how much I love him

and you looked at me with that dad face

that dads make when they realize

their little girl isn’t so little anymore.

I wish I could say he kind of reminds me of the good parts of you

unfortunately, I don't know you that well.

I wish I could say that something inside me

feels like I’m missing out by not being close to you.

I wish I looked forward to you walking me down the aisle.

I wish I was excited to do the father-daughter dance at my wedding

I wish I was going to invite you to the wedding in general

but, patterns show you probably won’t end up coming.

I wish I were sad about that,

and all the other things you never showed up for

but, I’m used to it by now.

I wish I wasn’t used to it by now.