2021: A Recollection and Reflection. Part 1

I have never actually stopped to cerebrate about a year before, but considering this one was quite eventful, I thought I would give it a try. Perhaps take a moment to ascertain my thoughts and feelings as well as my headspace going into 2022. I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, but I did make a list of things to do/try. Some of them accomplished easily enough, some that will take a decent amount of money that I will have to try and save for (being low-income sucks royally), and some will take planning and considerable funds. With that, allow me to begin this not in 2021, but December of 2020 as that’s where everything that has happened in the last year began. This is going to be a long one, just a head’s up.

2021 has been a year dealing with health concerns that go back to 2015 or 2016, but before I get into that, let me just say that in December 2020, I had Covid-19. It was a mild case and seemed to have only manifested like a sinus infection. I’ve had several of those, so I am familiar with what they feel like. It was a Friday evening and out of nowhere I got body aches. My mom was coming in the next day so I could do grocery shopping for her, but I rarely get body aches so I was concerned I might have the flu. I rarely get flus, I primarily get colds, so I took an Advil and went to bed. The next day the body aches were gone but I was still concerned about perhaps having the flu and I also considered Covid as a possibility. I called my mother and told her not to come in because I wasn’t sure, and given that she has COPD, I didn’t want to risk her catching it regardless. Then on Sunday, the stuffiness and pounding in my face began. When it hadn’t gone away by Wednesday, I made an appointment to see my doctor (I ended up seeing one of the medical students before I saw my actual doctor, as is the norm), I’ll call him Dr. T, and he gave me a Covid test along with some nasal spray and given my history of sinus infections and the perpetual nose stuffiness I have, he told me I had chronic rhinitis. A few days later, my nose was feeling better thanks to the nasal spray, and I got my Covid result back. It was positive. So I called mom and told her and we weren’t sure if I would be able to go to her place for Christmas as I always do. My 14-day quarantine would be over by the 18th, but given her health condition, I was wanting to wait a few more days after. I spoke with Dr. T, and he said I was good to go but wear a mask. So, I was able to go to mom’s for Christmas, but toward the last few days of my quarantine, something odd happened that caused me concern, a concern that a year later has not left me.

I noticed the back of my right calf below the knee was hurting and I chalked it up to a muscle cramp or something. Then one night as I was massaging it, I used my thumb to put pressure on it and it really hurt. I realized it was not a muscle cramp, so I went to Dr. T and told him about it. After he examined me, he told me it was a swollen lymph node. Well, I didn’t even know there was a lymph node there so I learned something new. He said it would go away on its own but to keep an eye on it. While it did go away in a few weeks, I started having weird leg pains and sensations that hadn’t been there before. Like sometimes it felt like a cramp, a pain that went up the back of my leg, other times just weird feeling is really the only way I can describe it. I found it rather concerning. Since I had a mild case of Covid and hearing about long haul Covid, I couldn’t help but wonder what Covid did that I didn’t know about.

A friend of mine who had once been a nurse mentioned that it was likely because I wasn’t walking as much as I once did. It was the first semester of online classes, and I was only going to class once a week. Before the pandemic, I was walking to school, walking around the school, and then going home. It took me a bit to understand what she was saying cause for some reason in my mind, it didn’t quite click. I had been doing yoga vids on youtube for awhile at that point, off and on at times, so I did some of those and the leg pain went away. For awhile anyway. At some point I was worried it was a blood clot or something. So, Dr. T sent me for a blood test and ended up going for an ultrasound to check. He told me afterward that the numbers for the clot test were so slightly above normal that he wasn’t sure if he should tell me or not. So that ultrasound came back negative, but the leg issue was still there. Eventually, it was diagnosed as a musculoskeletal thing. Somehow that didn’t make me feel any better, and I still have weird leg pains and discomfort.

The consequence of having Covid for me has been a case of hypochondria and perhaps a touch of paranoia. I always have the feeling in my head that something is wrong. I am terrified of getting a blood clot somewhere and even though Dr. T (whom I adore because he’s always been right on top of things and he listens) has assured me and all the tests I go for show nothing wrong, I still have that feeling that there’s something wrong somewhere. It is not a fun thing to deal with. I still wonder what Covid did that I don’t know about. Hell, when the pandemic hit, I was quite paranoid with the mask and handwashing thing so I’m not even sure where I even got Covid from. I am exceedingly grateful that it was only a super mild case, but the hypochondria and paranoid it left with me is not fun. Even though I know I am probably fine physically, I don’t feel fine. I am only 40 and for the last year it feels like my body is falling apart. I’m not gonna lie, I do feel scared somewhere in my mind. I have always been diligent and going to the doctor when something abnormal happens, and I suppose one positive thing about having a touch of hypochondria is being even more diligent.

In part 2, I will talk about the resolution of two ongoing medical issues as well as mention two other things that happened this year, one not so funny and the other kind of funny if you look at it the right way.