My heart hurts.

Friendships come and go. Some end abruptly and others slowly fade away. Either way, it hurts. I look back wistfully at some friendships, unable to remember why it ended. Others are permanently severed, beyond repair. Others are fresh, my emotions are raw and I have to work hard to control how I act.

I’ve never had a huge circle of friends. I prefer to stay close to fewer people with deeper connections. Which means, that when those friendships end, the broken connection upsets me more than I expect that it would.

I spent the afternoon avoiding someone at a party — eye contact, saying hello, anything. It’s too painful. My heart still hurts.