Us versus Them: How We Perpetuate Conflict
As the discrimination that is still so rampant in our world is being brought to light, we must remember that we are all one, regardless of our individual beliefs. Being inquisitive and open may be the only way to bring neutrality to the “us versus them” mentality to which we’ve all contributed. Even with a pure intention, “fighting” for our rights can oftentimes inadvertently perpetuate the problem. Of course, it’s important to know our differences and also focus on the fundamental interests that will allow us to collaborate and peacefully coexist.
We are seeing many different groups take to the streets to give their perspectives a voice. I admire the unity that these groups bring within their organization and the awareness brought to people from different walks of life. And, as much as I don’t like to admit it, even the groups that I disagree with wholeheartedly have the same rights that I have. I agree that it’s important to express what you believe is right, but there is a fine line between standing up for oneself and being aggressive and intolerant. At what point does a peaceful protest turn into a riot?
Who instigates the abuse? Who is an innocent bystander? Who is full of love and who is full of hate? Who wants the best for the world and the greater good? The answer: all of us. I’ve had a very hard time swallowing this reality — the reality that sometimes I have beliefs and behave in ways that make me both the victim and the perpetrator.
This viewpoint was spurred by the speech that President Trump delivered after the horrific events in Charlottesville. The statement that infuriated millions across the country included me. How on earth could he say there was “hatred, bigotry, and violence on many sides”? Many sides…is he serious?! Through my lens, there was hate on one side and one side only; however, upon further contemplation, I reluctantly admitted that perhaps Trump had a point.
Sometimes, even when a group shows up in defense of their rights and to give their side a voice, behaviors can shift and people with the purest of intentions can react in the same way as the opposing group. Calling people names, screaming profanities, throwing judgements, and pushing personal beliefs on others ensues. We can fight hate with more hate — that is, if we want to fuel the fire and perpetuate the conflict. Or we can defuse hate by choosing to actually embody what we’re “fighting” for. As Albert Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” I thought we didn’t want to fight anymore, so why are we out engaging in fights? We as individuals have to evolve.
You may be thinking that when we bring awareness, we aren’t looking for a fight; we’re trying to promote love and acceptance of all. I’m suggesting that we look at conflict through a different lens. Whomever opposes your/my viewpoint believes that they are simply defending their rights, as well. Even those who display blatant racism and intolerance are loving fathers, mothers, sons and daughters. They actually believe that they’re doing the right thing. It’s hard for me to understand their viewpoint, but throwing more hurtful things at people who are so obviously in very deep pain will not help matters. It only justifies their belief that they were right about us; all the people with a different religion, different sexual orientation, a different color skin, etc.
It’s hard to reprogram our belief systems, but we must if we want to evolve and truly be the change we want to see. Love all the perspectives and sides, even if you don’t agree. After all, each of us embody the light and the dark, the love and the hate, the courage and the fear. When we accept all of this in ourselves, we can accept it in others and collectively begin to shift the culture.
How can we remind the world and each other that we are all one and come from the exact same place? How can we remember that we are just individual expressions of a diverse and wonderful existence? How can we finally accept that we are all humans created in love? How can we coexist without hurting each other and/or trying to change each other?
I believe the answer lies within ourselves; when we become aligned in love as individuals, we are directly affecting the collective, but it takes all of us. We’ve made great strides over the decades in regard to civil rights, thanks to the trailblazers who have come before us — the brave souls who stood up for their rights and the rights of all who have followed. The actions and perseverance of those people have allowed me to be who I am today, and I am forever grateful. It’s now our turn to bring a different approach to the table.
I would love to hear thoughts and recommendations, dear readers. It’s important to have a safe space to express ourselves, brainstorm, and have an open discussion without attack, hate speech, name-calling, or threats. TravelPRIDE is a place where we can do just that. Be innovative. Be kind. Be loving. How can we all set an example of what being open, tolerant, and respectful of everyone’s beliefs actually looks like?
Originally published at TravelPRIDE.