How do I responsibly raise a young white boy in today’s world of dangerously heightened white supremacy? How do I teach him to be self-confident and empowered by his choices, but still show him he isn’t the center of the universe, without creating a core of self-doubt?

I want him to learn equality, not entitlement; understanding, not overconfidence.

It is not enough to just hope he will turn out alright. In our home, we very consciously use inclusive language.

My son came home from school casually talking about “policemen” and “firemen.” I corrected him: “police officer” and “firefighter.” These are inclusive, describing a gender-neutral profession, and showing little boys and girls that everyone has a chance to have these careers. …

When a cis-male poses as a woman in an industry dominated by men, where women have to struggle to be seen as competent, able, equal, and not abused, there are many issues at stake.

A man is able to opt into abuse. If the abuse received was fabricated, that is an even more painfully egregious offense. But even if the abuse is real, he is receiving the abuse willingly. He can opt out when he’s had enough. He doesn’t need to be afraid every day, because he knows it can be turned off with a simple “reveal”.

Women can’t turn it off. It’s our daily lives. …



I'm just a girl who loves a boy and we live in a little town on a river.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store