Let’s be real…I have not been in a bikini (yet)…I have fasted for 6 days, and on the 7th day — I decided to forfeit, the will and power didn’t connect. I remember when I could do a 30 day water tea fast easy, and now I’m struggling. I know all the health benefits of fasting and have inspired many — but at this moment, I can’t even motivate myself. I was as low as 205 lbs., and went right back to my comfortable 220s over the following weeks ending my detox. I didn’t have a plan afterwards, and so the pounds just came back.
I use to get upset at myself when I was in the 190s, but I am 30 lbs over that number and my desire to not be in the 200s. I don’t know what happened or do I? Hmmm — could it be the broken marriage engagement, the move to San Francisco, the lack of social interaction, my comfortability of the weight to distract relationships, the financial uneasiness, or a stream of bad luck? I also forgot the fact that I desperately need to get rid of my mean ass counselor. Am I still looking for someone to save me as I read “I am my own rescue” on my dry erase board?
One thing for sure, I have about 40 days to make a change. See in 40 days, I have a major program in Louisiana to participate in. I have to be ready for the pictures, videos, and the possibilities of seeing exes who look like age has never been an issue. I need to walk in there Megan Good fine in 40 days — sweet like sugar cane and ripe like a mango. However, can I trust myself to stick to a fast for that long, when I have only made it to 6 days recently? Am I returning to this blog for sympathy knowing that my ass will never be in a bikini, and that I secretly love those over large granny panties? (But dammit, grannies are even winning…matter of fact, there is a granny in Louisiana selling crotchless panties somewhere…She has been married a long time). Am I trying to look a little appetizing to an ex who is younger than me and has a plethora of beautiful young women to choose from? Am I even in the league anymore?
Megan Good, I call upon the goddess of Megan Good, Ms. Good if you Nasty, to help this 38 year old black woman to reclaim her pussy power — cause right now I’m on my way to be a strong candidate for the bengay team.
