Personal reflection before 2019: Self care comes first
This year started off with a bang; I received opportunities that have helped me grow (i.e. guest starring in a podcast, making money from what I love, having my article turned into a Youtube video, presenting a talk, teaching, etc.), graduated at the top of my class with distinction, and got my first job at a place that has a very supportive community and are making meaningful things.
Despite all that might be considered good to the public eye, I was tired. I became chained to work, constantly hustling in hopes that I would gain recognition that would lead to more work, but it started to take the toll on my creative energy. I became selective with replying to messages because I felt like I couldn’t give it my all by replying to every single one, and if I did, I would be further pushing myself to exhaustion. I realized that I started to put on a persona where it was all professional Tif, but not the Tif who liked talking about matcha and really, REALLY liked to get to know someone on a deeper level. The things I once did with gusto (mentoring, coming up with new ideas, starting side projects) became taxing and unmotivating because I was drowning in my inability to relax and take more breaks than what I thought I needed. It especially didn’t help that I decided to continue work after school for 3 months before my first job, and not take a “proper” break after graduation like most kids did (sometimes doing nothing for the pursuit of relaxation is good!!).
What I realized this year (abeit hearing this multiple times) is that burnout is real. If you don’t take a break from work, the things you once could easily do become the things you need to think twice about because you haven’t been giving yourself time to just rest and heal. Even simple things not relating to work, such as messaging and hanging out with friends, became harder to plan and carry out.
After starting work, I have been trying to take more breaks for myself. This took the form of vacation, taking multiple breaks in-between work to unwind from anything tech related and exercise. Though it might seem countertutitive to be taking time off from doing work, I actually got more done and I had more motivation to take risks as well as ownership over my work.
By giving myself more time to unwind and taking control to actively manage my own time under my terms, I felt like I could take on work with a new purpose. This meant working on things that were important to my values and to reduce stress in the moment. Things I once considered extremely troublesome became miniscule because I became more aware of troublesome feelings and that I needed to simply let go of them.
I’m not perfect, and I want others to know this too. I also realized that striving for perfection, especially what others consider that to be, is pointless and will only make you more depressed. Trust me, I did this through spending rather large amounts of money to achieve a lifestyle I couldn’t sustain and that went against my personal values.
For now, next year and years to come, I strive to take care of myself more, to not be so hard on myself and to count my blessings for all the things I am thankful for. I also want to do the things that I believe in and have thought through, not as a way to fit in or meet a standard.
The most important thing is to take care and embrace yourself, where ever you are in life. It’s not just the future self that we should strive for and be proud of, but it’s who we are now and how far we have been able to come since then.
To help you get started on owning your design career, here are some amazing tools from Rookieup, a site I used to get mentorship from senior designers
