Codesmith Week Ten: A Note on Imposter Syndrome

Photo by Matese Fields on Unsplash

This week, I joined a few seniors to take part in a panel discussion on imposter syndrome—that constant, nagging fear of being exposed as a “fraud.” We each shared about our experiences with it, along with how we overcame it. Our goal was to prepare the new juniors for this feeling— something that every student eventually experiences.

During my junior portion of the program, imposter syndrome hit me pretty early on. I felt as though I was falling behind each of my pair programming partners, which meant that I wasn’t smart enough for the program. I wondered if maybe I should have begun Codesmith at a later date, after I had taken more time to study. And at my lowest, I even questioned why I had quit my job and doubted my ability to succeed as a developer. My worst fear? That I had made a huge mistake and thrown away a good career.

As the weeks went by, however, I found myself becoming more and more hopeful. And the voice inside my head went from “I can’t do this” to “maybe I can.” While imposter syndrome hasn’t fully gone away for me—I don’t think it ever truly does—I’ve found ways to push through in spite of it.

Here are a few strategies that have helped:

1. Don’t compare. There will always be someone who understands concepts more quickly, and that’s OK. I realized that this isn’t proof that I’m “dumber,” but that it simply means that I learn at my own pace. In the end, we’ll all reach the finish line, but only if we don’t allow ourselves to give up beforehand.
2. Form a community. Because of my fear of being discovered as a fraud, I initially didn’t want to share with my peers that I was experiencing a downward spiral of self-doubt. But then I started confiding in a few classmates, who surprised me by admitting they were experiencing the same exact thing. We decided to form a weekend study group, which allowed us to practice previously daunting concepts. And as we became more familiar with the material, our confidence in ourselves also grew. But the best part? We were there to support each other along the way. And as I witnessed their coding skills improve, I too started believing that I could get there too.
3. Be easy on yourself. Just as we wouldn’t berate a kid for falling off his bike while he’s learning to ride one, we shouldn’t automatically label ourselves as failures because we don’t quite understand a concept on the get-go. And yet imposter syndrome has a funny way of making us believe we’re not good enough. I learned to simply ignore that voice and instead focus on the positive: how much I’ve learned week over week, which is all that should matter.