Oh your fear of rejection is understood!
Wild Flower
61

The Ruskies did these crazy LSD experiments back in the 50’s, after their whole Pavlovian behavior unit started doing dog resurrection- then they create Tetris. But the LSD-25 experiments were originally about getting soldiers to push the button, for the bomb: they kept them in a locked ward for 24 hrs with nothing to do, after dosing them- they wouldn’t even tie their shoelaces. They lost all motivation- why bother tying your shoes- turns out we’re programmed from youth and the logic-chain sticks, you tie your shoes to get a yummy cookie and then get to take a nap. Then you realize if you don’t get out of bed, shower, put on deodorant, pay your taxes, get dressed, put on your socks, brush your teeth (if you don’t in the shower), then you can’t tie your shoes: no cookie!

'Course by this time yer forty, have kids you don’t know, more passwords than a Chinese phone book (which makes no sense- postmodern humor), and you wear shoes without laces. But you still get up out of bed and do things because your motivation was programmed in all those years ago. Until some dude in a lab coat named Ivan tells you to swallow this and you’ll get paid. No matter it’s in rubles, from the USSR, which no longer exists.

I started sharing my writing a long time ago. But the process hasn’t changed, the nerves then old hat. The rejection for me girls, marriage, school acceptance, sports teams, the popular table, job interviews- it becomes about my self-image and self-worth, instead of it being I don’t fit the profile of what the employer wants, or someone doesn’t like my writing style, suddenly I suck and am worthless and nobody likes me.

You’re beautiful, that’s a great work-around. I saw everyone doing it and was curious but didn’t really get it. Just link to all your writing, then submit that post to an archive pub, then put that post at the top of your profile. Brilliant.

I’m keeping my top post for something else, so that doesn’t work for me, which is I guess why I chose to do the publications myself, instead? I don’t remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday. Wait. Wait. Egg and cheese breakfast burritos and coffee, strong, cream and sugar.

Questions, ask questions, always!

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