Date: 2016–11–19

All these negative thoughts have a lasting effect,
can the same be said for positives? Is it any wonder
the self-help industry is booming, the power of
positive thinking, the creation of new neural pathways
that we can walk, hand-in-hand, to our deaths.

two negatives don’t make a positive
but they can make a short-circuit, bypass a whole
section of brain, invert it and turn it on myself — 
“you’ll never know. Hah!”

When did this happen? What was the turning point,
the one I didn’t notice, the moment the switch flicked from
positive to negative? Perhaps it coincided with the toast
popping up from its slot, a subtle but sudden noise that
masked the sound of my internal psyche switch

so by the time I reached for the the crust—
far darker than usual, although not quite burnt,
my inattention has led to the catastrophe of singed sourdough, 
casting a pall over breakfast

And it’s all my fault. No other explanation, even the
slightest error haunts me — he, magically borne
with butterfly wings, whose flutter can upset the peace talks
on the other side of the world. Well, that’s a bonus, isn’t it?
To have that power after all these months out of control.

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