Project 365: Day 91 — Spots Never Change

I met a few old ex colleagues today. Among them, are a few people who, to put it politely, I’d say are a little old school in their ways. I shared the news that I was getting married next year with some of them. Inter-community marriages are considered a big deal in some parts of the world even if it’s the same religion, not just because factors like caste kick in.

The community I come from, in particular, I have seen people (including my own family) have a problem with certain other communities and have no problems stereotyping them. One of the people I shared the news with was particularly obvious in her disapproval (not that it would ever matter), I felt deeply offended.

I am very accepting of inter-community marriages; I always think of it as a way to diversify one’s culture, I’ll go so far as to say it’s good for the children to grow up in this kind of diversity. For example, I am marrying a Malayalee, and I look forward to learning things about his culture (even though those things are mostly food related). In fact, one of the things I love about his culture, is the fact that their weddings are short affairs (and since both our parents insist on having a ceremony rather than our preference for a registry, it works well for both of us) — weddings shouldn’t be a tiresome affair for the people in question, most of all because the two people are already committed to each other, even in the case of love marriages. Anyway…

This person, let’s call them Person A — they really, really ticked me off by displaying their thinking. Person A has also been one of the most unpleasant people I’ve known. Person A has nothing nice to say about any positive news received from any quarter. Ever. It makes me think of how such people never change their ways; and I’ve known Person A closely for 8 years! They can never be accepting and tolerant of others’ right to choose their way of life. The sad part is, these people think that their opinions impact other people.

On the other hand, I met another person, Person B. I know Person B from a long time ago. Person B has always been unintentionally forgetful and silly in a lot of ways that make people around laugh. But this Person B was full of warmth and good wishes when they heard about my news. It is strange because these two people are very close to one another, yet so disparate in the way they behave. The second person has always been extremely pleasant; they too, are a little narrow in their thinking, but eventually, they don’t let their narrow thoughts get in the way of how they see the other person. It’s very nice to know someone like that, especially when juxtaposed against Person A.

I have one key takeaway from today: people’s inherent natures never ever change. If you’re mean, spiteful, judgmental, you’ll always remain so. If you’re humble, pleasant and always wish everyone well, you always will be that person. One does not simply change one’s spots overnight.

Thanks for reading!