What my Daughter is Teaching Me About Limitations

Tim Carson
Sep 8, 2018 · 5 min read

I’ll never forget that cold January day. Hannah was born through C-section and although planned for a February birthday she was 5 weeks early. That was just the beginning.

Born — she could literally fit in the palm of my hand. Being our third we could tell that something was different, however the three doctors and many nurses were more concerned about clearing her air passages than her size. When she did start crying she may have pierced the silence but at the same time her cries also calmed our hearts and minds.

Nine months later we would receive the diagnosis — achondroplasia. More commonly referred to as dwarfism. Roughly 1 in 25,000 experience the genetic condition caused by mutations in the FGFR3 gene and affects the growth rate of all the long bones in the body. The Femur, the Humorous, and the upper mandible are but a few of the bones affected. A major blessing in receiving the diagnosis nine months after birth was found in that most of the dangers associated with her physical condition occur in the first 6 to 8 months of life. We had made it through the toughest section physically. However, mentally and spiritually we were just beginning.

I would be lying if I told you that I was feeling alright. Worries are always circling around your head when it comes to your children. This seemed to exasperate them, give them more significance. They became weighty.

I would also be lying if I did not tell you that as a man of faith I turned many times to my God for strength, courage, wisdom, and peace. He has never let me down, and I have prayed many times for that strength to fill me as I watch my amazingly brave daughter navigate life. Ironically as I write this now I feel those same feelings rising up again.

I could write a small novel exposing my inner most fears as well as my deepest love and admiration for my daughter. I love all my children equally and I love the fact that they are all different and unique each unto their own. I would not change anything if given the opportunity. I feel tremendously blessed to have been given the stewardship of being a father to four great children.

We have been privileged to witness the strengths and dreams of our children evolve and come to fruition.

Hannah is no different and even though she is smaller than most, her courage and grace surpasses many I know and not only impress me, they inspire me.

She knows her limitations physically. Yet with a steely resolve she doesn’t allow them to fence her in and choke out what brings her pleasure and fulfillment. Interestingly her brain has not decided on which hemisphere will be the dominant side which has brought its own set of challenges, yet she is a deep thinker, creative, and resourceful. She is witty and charming and can be dangerously focused. I say dangerously because she can set her focus on objects or tasks which in the lives of others would prove a waste of their time. I say dangerously because that kind of determined focus is becoming a rare commodity. She is and will continue to be a force to be reckoned with and yes that is a biased statement from her father but is also given as a witness.

Hannah knows her limitations, yet she has adapted her way of living to successfully interact with the world around her. Most problems for her are met with a shrug of the shoulders, that wry half smile that comes with a dimple, and a silent determined grit that rivals most her age.

I have seen her swim, not an easy task when your body is not shaped for the water. I’ve seen her learn how to ride a bike, ice skate, handle a goat then move on to handle a 600 lb calf in 4H. I’ve witnessed her give public speeches (in public speaking competitions) and engage in her entrepreneurial ideas for fundraisers — no lemonade stands here. We’re talking about researching, creating, and launching products which she has made herself. I’ve even seen her ride horses — I’ve even seen her fall face first off a horse. Right into the dirt.

Apparently, she has also snuck onto trampolines when I was not around — and she has navigated all these experiences successfully. Even to the point of getting back onto the same horse that dumped her, twice.

I have also witnessed her tactfully and gracefully respond to the stares and comments of children and adults alike regarding her physical appearance. In a recent speech she told a crowd of people that the stares and comments still bug her, still make her feel very aware of her size. Yet she moves on knowing that she has a purpose and a mission in this life. Yes, she knows her limitations, but she doesn’t let them stop her from doing those things that fulfill her purpose and mission.

I’ve learned a lot from my daughter. Things like;

I cannot take each day for granted.

What other people may think or say does not define me.

Despite what other people say about me or do to me, I can overcome.

Despite my circumstances I can respond with tact and grace.

Fears can be embraced and used as fuel rather than an extinguisher.

Even if I fall off a horse head first, I need to get up, dust off, and get back on.

I’ve learned a lot from my daughter. She is still teaching me. She may not know it yet but her way of dealing with limitations is not only inspiring but also encouraging. It encourages me to aspire to continue growing and to embrace each limiting factor as an opportunity.

Hannah may never go on to set world records, receive prestigious awards, or become an international influencer. According to her that’s ok. But then again, it wouldn’t surprise me if she did.

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