I am just a dude who woke up one day with a massive hangover and said, “Enough is fucking enough!”

My name is Tim, and I am a 40-something male with a wife and two kids, living in Sydney, Australia. I gave up alcohol almost eight years ago, and it was 100% one of the best things ever.

Alcohol had always been a big part of my life. I’d worked in hospitality for years, behind the bar of some of Sydney’s best bars and restaurants. Later, I moved into entertainment and sports marketing, which was just as boozy. My friendship circle was largely born out of the nightclub scene, so partying was pretty much the norm. When I settled down with my amazing wife and kids, the partying died off, but the drinking moved from the bar to the living room. Most nights, I’d ­have at least one bottle of wine. On Fridays and Saturdays, it wasn’t unusual for me to put away a bottle of vodka, sometimes two. The big issue was the next day.

Hangovers were really bad. Anxiety was terrible, and worst of all, as a new father, I was not really enjoying time with my kids. Even more troubling was that I couldn’t see a way out. I knew I was drinking too much, but my brain was like,

“Everyone does it, so what’s the problem?”

“I’ll just have a couple of glasses and call it a night,”

“I just won’t drink during the week.”

Some people are masters of moderation and good on them! My wife can have a few glasses, maybe a blowout once in a while, but it’s never a problem for her. I know a lot of people like this; I am not one of them. I liked drinking and getting drunk, so once I got a taste of the stuff, I couldn’t stop. At some point, I figured out that it would be easier not to drink at all than to try to moderate.

I actually think drinking is like smoking cigarettes except maybe worse because it’s always in your face. It’s so deeply woven into the fabric of our culture and everyone says things like, “Life will be terribly boring if you don’t drink” and “I don’t trust people that don’t drink” — stuff like that. It’s odd. Also, get fucked.

I once wondered if I was going to be giving up something so amazing but as it turns out — nope. Quite the opposite. I’m not saying it’s the easiest thing to do, but it’s not nearly as hard or boring as it’s made out to be.

I don’t have a rock-bottom story, and my life was in pretty good order. But I did drink a lot and very often. I’m very sympathetic to anyone dealing with alcoholism, and I’ve seen more than my share of what that looks like. With all due respect given, I’m grateful and fortunate that this is not where I’m coming from; in fact, I think the level of my dependence is super common. If, like me, you’ve let drinking become too big a part of your life, I’m hoping to encourage you to take back control, either through moderation or blowing it off altogether.

I remember my last drink very well. I was at The Nelson Pub in Bondi Junction, Sydney, around lunchtime with my wife and three-year-old daughter — Saturday, and I was hungover badly. “Fuck it, I’ll have a beer,” I thought, knowing that I’d also be stopping by the bottle shop later. I started drinking my Coopers Pale Ale Beer while trying to keep an eye on my daughter who was underneath the table, then near the pokies room, then somewhere else… It was exhausting. I felt crushed by the weight of the hangover, while my wife was enjoying the moment! Enjoying it! It was a lightning bolt moment for me because I thought:

“Wait. Should I be enjoying this too!? We’re having a nice lunch, kids are happy … it’s a Saturday etc etc — WTF!”

I wasn’t even enjoying the beer but I was drinking it anyway because that’s what you do to feel better when you’re hungover. Or I did at least. So fucked! Shit had to change.

Increasingly over the years, and especially on that day, I felt trapped in a vicious cycle. I’d avoided facing it but knew that I was in the grip of an addiction. Drink with mates, drink after work, drink at home with my wife or by myself, drink whilst cooking or watching TV, drink at the cinema, drink at the footy, drink at lunch, drink at kids’ parties… As I got older, the hangovers got worse, followed by the same chatter in my mind, “Why did I drink so much?” or “Not drinking today — that’s it.” Inevitably, by 4 pm, when I started to feel better, I’d be back at the bottle shop. Fuck, I hated that!

I’d tried to quit smoking cigarettes in the past and succeeded at various stages. Why had I never tried to give up drinking? Sure, “Dry July” or whatever, but what about an extended period? Was that even possible? How bad would that be? How would I wind down after work? Would the things I enjoy not be as good anymore, like a delicious red with a steak? I believe most people think this way. What I know now is that it’s just a habit, and it can certainly be broken.

Being hungover to some degree had been the norm for the better part of my adult life; I wasn’t even aware of it any more. Some days were worse than others, but few were completely free of symptoms. So much time wasted. Fuck that! Life is too short.

In my life reset, the most surprising and exciting thing I discovered was going to bed early, knowing that I’d wake up fresh! The anticipation of everything I would do in the morning (before the old me was even close to getting up) was thrilling. I was like a kid on Xmas eve every night. In the morning, I’d get a serious natural high, post-coffee, of course. And that fresh and clear feeling lasted pretty much all day. I still enjoy it 8 years later. The natural high quickly outweighed the high from getting pissed. I had a new addiction — doing stuff and feeling good.

Moderating drinking or giving it up altogether comes with challenges. It’s not all rosy, but I highly recommend giving it a go. I think you’ll find that the things you’ll gain far outweigh the things you’ll lose, or you think you’ll lose.

Cheers