Not sure how many people identifying as heterosexuals genuinely tried to answer these questions (and perhaps they were not written with the intention to be answered). Definitely not aiming to insult anyone with this. If anything, my hope is that it gives me a fresh/corrected perspective on how to love others better (specifically, to love others sacrificially and to empathize with the experience of people I might not relate to, like Jesus would [and DID by stepping down from glory and becoming a human]). Might be fruitful, might be a waste of time. Like so much of my writing, I might share with friends or it might stay buried in my notes forever.
- I think my heterosexuality was caused by a combination of nature + nurture. A combination of:
- A) my innate desire to procreate
- B) media that told me what beautiful women and men are supposed to look like
- C) an Indonesian culture that told me (and continuously tells me) that having a wife and kids is better than not having them.
- D) predominately Mexican neighbors who shaped my views on gender dynamics
- E) friends in first grade who convinced me that all the cool + accepted boys have girlfriends.
- F) hip-hop music/culture that told me how to treat women, typically by either worshipping or degrading women to prove my masculinity.
2. I don’t think I ever decided to be a heterosexual. In childhood, my body and mind seemed to react impulsively and involuntarily in response to girls/women who I found physically attractive. Sometimes, as I built friendships with certain girls over time, I developed an attraction when I didn’t categorize that particular friend as physically attractive. Through adolescence (and even present day), I try to temper said involuntary responses. This has been both wildly successful and wildly unsuccessful haha
3. Yes, it’s possible. I don’t think it’s likely. If my heterosexuality is indeed a phase that I grow out of someday, I can genuinely say it has caused a lot of joy and a lot of pain.
4. I don’t think I flaunt my heterosexuality. In times when I maybe felt compelled to “show off” my heterosexuality and. said or did things to hurt you, I’m sorry. I also feel bad for past inappropriate public displays of affection and unnecessary social media flaunts. I believe I am quiet about my heterosexuality aside from my closest circle of friends. I am actually uncomfortable and reserved in discussing sexuality with family members.
5. Having been involved in a lot of conversations on gender identity and sexuality (specifically with friends, clients and strangers), the word “seduce” doesn’t seem to be used much on either side. That said: I do not feel compelled to seduce others into my lifestyle. Celibacy, singleness, dating and unhealthy-career-focus are hard lifestyles that i don’t wish for others. Though i wouldn’t use the word “seduce,” i definitely wish the miraculous peace + joy + forgiveness of Jesus that I’ve experienced for others.
6. Nope. Physical therapy, behavior therapy and emotional therapy all seem to have measurable benefits. I have not met anyone who has spoken positively about sexual-attraction therapy. Maybe those stories are out there and people have simply never told me about that very intimate part of their life.