What you need to know before watching the Game of Thrones finale
Well gang. It’s finally here. There have been ups and downs (too many downs if you ask me). This season sure flew by, so quickly in fact that there may be some key info you missed. From this point on I’m going to assume that you’re all caught up, but just in case…

Now that we got those posers off our backs we’re fine to speak freely. At this point on it should be just the die hards. The people who’ve seen every episode over and over, maybe even read all the books. Either way, you know all the characters and are dying to see what happens next. Well this Sunday will sure be a treat for all of you, I’m sure.
I bet you’ve been reading up on all the theories, trying to figure out who will die and who will kiss. Maybe we’ve got some of those hackers in our midst who have seen the episode already. No matter how ready you feel, there’s one piece of information you don’t have. The one thing to know for Sunday’s finale is this:
YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF FREAKIN’ NERDS
Yeah I said it. Whether you like the chick with the dragons or the cold sad dude, its true either way. Like, do you guys even know this stuff isn’t real? It’s all made up. While me and the boys are out tossing a pigskin on Sunday you’re going to be getting a friggin’ boner thinking about made up armies and stuff. You’re all a bunch of geeks!
Look, I don’t want to come off as harsh, but facts are facts. You’re all a bunch of dweebos and I’m just telling it like it is. While you’re busy fixing your pocket protectors I’ll be huffing spray paint underneath the school bleachers. And I don’t know why you even bother trying to watch this Sunday anyway. I’ll be too busy giving you another swirly for you to see anything.
My step-dad Mark said the show’s dumb anyway, and he teaches Jujitsu. I bet he could beat up any of those guys and even your dad too. He said that’s why we don’t get HBO and why I can’t take swim class again this summer.
If you’re going to watch the show, I can’t stop you. But just know this. Just because you watch it won’t make Stacy not go to the big dance with ME instead. I haven’t asked her yet, but she‘ll definitely say yes. You’ll be too busy taking about “big bad wolfs” and “wintertime” to even notice when I steal her from you.
So when you press play on your fancy HBO tvs remember this, I’ll be too busy heating up another frozen dinner alone to even bother. I’m too cool for this nerd stuff anyway.
Remember: Once a dork always a dork.
