COVID-19: Mental health and general musings from a clinically anxious Nigerian girl.

From China sending medical supplies to Italy, Idris Elba, Tom Hanks and his wife testing positive for COVID-19, and Nigerian Doctors going on strike, we are living in very interesting, and if it wasn’t very serious, almost comical times.

I believe while we are all taking physical precautions; washing hands, using hand sanitisers, maintaining social distance, self and imposed quarantine etc., we also need to also take care of our mental health.

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Image from the World Health Organisation(WHO)

I had anxiety and panic attacks most of yesterday because I was fully camped on the…

Mum: Daddy is not feeling well, we’ve taken him to the hospital.

Me: Is it serious?

Mum: Not really but they are running tests.

Me: Should I come home?

Mum: No, don’t worry, you’re coming in 2 days, so just wait till then.

The next day…

Mum: Timi can you come home? Daddy has been asking for you.

Me: Is everything okay? How is he feeling?

Mum: Yes, he’s better now, we’re moving him to the Federal Medical centre. Just come when you can today.

It took me almost 4 hours to get from Oniru to Ojota! First of its…

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I’m not afraid of the tears, the shock or even the pain, it’s the numbness, that coldness that seeps into my heart with the news that it has struck again.

It scares me, I can’t feel anything no matter how hard I try, the betrayal I feel by my overly emotional self when I grovel at its feet to give me something, ANYTHING…

The silence, the deafening still and intense quiet that not even the loudest speaker blasting my good vibes playlist can soothe…

That silence scares me, my mind runs helter-skelter looking for a…

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Dear Baby Girl,

You have so much love, care, and life-improving skills bubbling inside of you, all you want is pour it out but you’re struggling and wondering why he can’t see what you can do for him and be to him. You’re beginning to doubt yourself; am I not good enough? Do I need to do this more or that less? Maybe I need to dial it back.

Beautiful woman, don’t!

Sadly he is not the one for you. No matter how much you do, it will never be enough because you are not what he needs. You know…

A couple of years ago I was officially diagnosed with Clinical Depression, Anxiety and Panic Disorder ( I know it is a mouthful). This diagnosis was made when I was still living in England, I was given medication and used to have psychotherapy sessions once a week for a while but a part of me never accepted the diagnosis — a whole Baby-Geh, child of the most high and most importantly a Nigerian! I’m sure you must have heard of the age-old myth that says depression is an oyibo sickness. So how can a full-fledged Naija babe be depressed? Tufiakwa!!

Timiebi Dawn Ebitibituwa

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