Tim Knowles
Aug 25, 2017 · 2 min read

I think I understand where this is coming from “All women-whatever their class backgrounds-were effectively lumped into one of two categories: ‘respectable’ or ‘fallen’ ” but is clearly misogynistic stereotypes.

I really think most men and women can see through to the truth.

I have been married twice. My first wife passed away after 20 years with me. Both my wives had children with two other men before we met. I have never had sex with a virgin but I believe I declined the opportunity once.

The conflicting norms lead women to deny their agency. The girl who might have been offering me her virginity was going to let me take it but seemed reluctant and noncommittal. I lost my virginity to a girl younger than me who ridiculed me for my reluctance. I was happy enough with fondling and kissing and less than enthusiastic about coitus. I would later learn she had a reputation as a fallen woman. I think she was just a girl who knew what she wanted and was mad that I was reluctant to give it to her.

Me, I guess I have a hang up from my Catholic upbringing. Coitus requires a commitment, it is not casual, it is not carnal it is a recognition of love and commitment. That is not to say that I always modeled that idea.

I did engage in a bit of casual coitus but mostly I was committed to the relationships that involved coitus. My partners it turns out were not always as committed. Those partners were not always enthusiastic in their participation in coitus. I should have understood that if they were not all that enthusiastic in bed that they were not committed to the relationship either.

I put my current wife off for almost a year until she would not take no for an answer. She still tells me that if I had fucked her on our first date we would probably not be together but she also says that if I said no one more time she probably would have broken up with me.

Now don’t misunderstand and maybe I am weird but we both had many shared orgasms prior to our first coitus but I guess that the potential for pregnancy associated with coitus makes for a commitment threshold for me for that act.

Frankly no matter the reason. Making her wait lead to much better sex. Hearing her tell me “I can’t believe you made me wait a year for this” time after time makes me that much bigger and harder and I think her orgasms are stronger too. We will hopefully relish those memories decades in the future.

TEK

)

    Tim Knowles

    Written by

    Worked in our nations space programs for more than 35 years