You are beautiful the way you are. I probably don’t think you are pretty but you are less ugly than people who would ridicule you. I have a step daughter who is very big. I hope that she never thinks I might not think she is pretty. Some, actually many of my thoughts are best kept to myself and I know that.
We all have preferences, have you seen the Cirque de Soleil act with the two large women. I only saw some pictures, seems cute. I love Cirque de Soleil I have seen three different shows. Anyway, that I might find large people unattractive does not mean I don’t think some of them are beautiful. Beautiful is more than skin deep.
That all said, I don’t like, I find it disturbing to be pressed flesh to flesh with anyone I don’t have a close relationship with. I tolerate doctors and nurses touching me. Fingers are less disturbing than other contact. If we are going to share sweat we need to be already intimate friends. Layers of cloth between us could help. On air planes or buses etc. I avoid as much as possible touching other people. I will kiss on the lips, my wife, my mom, my sister, and the wife of one close friend. I do give hugs but it was hard, one early girlfriend introduce me to the writing of Leo Buscaglia. I can hug strangers but I am not totally comfortable with it. Hugging a fat persons is harder than hugging a skinny person. You have to touch more of the fat person and squeezing fat is more disturbing than squeezing muscle and bone.
I know I am over sharing and it pains me as much as it might be disturbing to the readers but I hope it is enlightening. I do try to not fat shame anyone but I can only hide so much of my true feelings. If any of you are as skilled at reading my body language as my wife is then I am sorry for the vibes I throw off.
For the past 35 years I have gained about a pound a year and just this year I broke over the threshold of over weight based on the simple body mass index. I am bigger, stronger and more fit than anytime in my life but I still took action to lose a few pounds and did.
I know that is nonsense too someone who is way over the limit.