What do I want?

Ever since they gave me the choice to choose what I wanted to learn at school, I have been struggling with that question.
Most of the time I just want to have peace. A peace of mind. Because my mind is almost always racing.
But the world we live in doesn’t allow this very much. There is money to be made.💸
Don’t get me wrong. I believe that work is a good thing. But it seems to me that people don’t work anymore for what they need. But for what they desire.
And again. Don’t get me wrong. I also have my desires.

But still. The world seems to have lost it’s balance. On one side there are people literally fighting to survive. And on the other people are complaining because the airco in their BMW doesn’t work.
But i’m drifting of.
So at this moment. What do I want? I want to excel at something, I want to be free. (Insert “braveheart" pic)
And Ofcourse make a decent living by doing it.
But that isn’t easy, considering my background.
Because of the diagnosis “schizophrenia”. I’ve been deemed unfit for work. So I live on government support. Not that i’m not grateful for it. But it does suck. Because if I would apply for any job, all that would happen is that. The money that I would make would be cut from my monthly government support. So I would give my time and energy without getting anything in return. Unless i make more than i get from the government. And without hardly any formal education that is not ver easy to do.
So that’s why I have taken to the www.com
Trying to make money online. A lot of people seem to want that. But most of the so called opportunities turn out to be scams. They lure you in with pictures and videos of expensive cars and great big houses. But in the end it’s all a bunch of nonsense.
But I’m not giving up. And I will go on. But it’s not a easy road. It takes a lot of willpower to not give in and just accept defeat.
Just being able to just write this and throw it out there for anyone to see is a little victory for me.
Getting through the anxieties that I had about telling my story was a long and difficult road. And it’s a fight I must fight every day.
Thanks for your time.🙏🕶👌⭐
~Timothy Kirkby.
