Day 31: Making it home

It seems that my extreme muscle pain and weakness and the loss of motor control was caused by a virus. I was released from the hospital a little after 4 p.m. today.

I am pretty much back to normal. For a while, I thought I was completely back. In the early afternoon, I was on my laptop to update my lectures for tomorrow. Thirty-six hours after being told I could be facing partial paralysis and a year of recovery, I was ready to jump back into my routine. The death stares from family made me pause. Now I realize that all of that physical trauma can’t just go away without some lingering impact. I am tired. I’m a little weak. My muscles are sore—a mild, post-workout kind of sore. And just as with post-workout soreness, I’m very happy to have it.

I have some standard follow-up visits in my future. There are still tests outstanding whose results will need to be reviewed, and I’ll need another MRI in three months. They did see a small spot on the brain stem. It’s likely nothing. They want to make sure it’s not growing, but the signs are that it won’t (it didn’t enhance on contrast). It’s possible that my symptoms were caused by a demyelinating disease that erupts intermittently, but that is also highly unlikely. We’d typically see other effects as the systems face, as well as some signs on the MRI. So it seems I just suffered from a very odd progression of a virus with no lasting damage. My only instructions on discharge were “no strenuous activities or marathons or staying in hot weather for prolonged periods.”

Obviously, I’m still processing all of this. I’m not sure there is that much to process. I’m grateful for the outcome. I’m more appreciative of basic good health. I’m much more empathetic toward those who struggle to get their bodies to obey their wishes. And I’m thankful for supportive friends and family.

One of my favorite memories will be of Rosemary June. When we thought this thing was just flu-like, she came me up to me in bed singing the “Rest is Best” song from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Throughout the weekend, she’d just put her head on my shoulder or give me a kiss on my arm like she was kissing a boo-boo.

What an unbelievable ending to my 31-day blogging challenge. For a brief moment, I thought I’d unwittingly arranged a buildup to a swan song.

I’m ready to rest from this as well. I do want to keep writing, but a daily pace for something so personal is not sustainable. It was a good exercise, but I’ve never wanted more to tell someone else’s story.

I do worry that this type of writing reinforces one of my worst writing tendencies — to just let the words and ideas build up in my mind and then put them all down without ever seriously reworking them. But it counteracts my single worst writing tendency — not to write. So I’ll take it as a win.

Thanks to everyone who’s read any of these posts and to everyone who’s provided a word of encouragement. Until next time….

“Give It Up”
By Hothouse Flowers

Well, I’m coming face to face with my conscience
Coming to an understanding of myself
Clear out all the old cobwebs
Clear out all the old books from the shelf

This song is inspired by a good man and his tune
Thinking good of others sing ‘Amazing Grace’ to you
It doesn’t really matter if you’re all jumbled up inside
As long as you know that love is endless and the world is wide
As long as you know

Give it up
Share it out
Help, help who you can
Talk about it

It’s late in the morning, close to the time
And Mary’s in the alley she never stops smiling
Always love to see her she means a lot to me
But I know she’s got a hard time trying to make ends meet

Give it up
Share it out
Help who you can
Talk about it

Down Georgia Street arcade where the poor children play
Gathering up charity to help them make their day
Well me, I was once their age, once I was young
But I know, I had my family to fall back on

Give it up
Share it out, yeah
Help who you can
Talk about it

Oh, give it up
Share it out
Help who you can
Don’t just talk about it
Talk about it

Help these child
Help these child

Give it up
Share it out
Help who you can
Talk about it

Give it up
Share it out
Help who you can
Talk about it