The 12 Dark Sides of an INFJ: To Know Them is to Handle Them
INFJs are usually perceived as advocates and counselors and are well-known for their sensitivity and complexity. However, deep down, they appear to be a more intricate and hard-to-interpret part of the human makeup, and it is foremost in the misunderstanding that they find themselves. This post will underline the more serious side and problems an INFJ goes through.
1. Misinterpretation of Friendliness
Have you ever smiled at someone and they thought you were in love with them? INFJs live this every day. Their natural friendliness — this ability to really listen and empathize — often gets mistaken for romantic interest. It’s like walking through a minefield where every step could lead to an awkward misunderstanding. INFJs need to constantly remind people, “Hey, I’m just being nice!” Maybe they should wear a T-shirt that says that. It would save a lot of trouble.
2. High Expectations in Relationships
INFJs do not build their future through their long-term projects merely; still, they want to fall in love. They have this concept of a completely connected romantic union, which is impossible for any real human to realize. Reality check: everyone is flawed (yes, including you as well). INFJs set themselves up for a world of disappointment and confusion when their partner can’t teleport or read minds. They are required to become real and appreciate the fact that they are not living in a dream world. Human relations are not about finding the perfect person; they are about loving an imperfect person perfectly.
3. Judgmental Attitude
INFJs have a superpower: they can read you in seconds. But with great power comes great responsibility. They can be quick to label someone as this or that, closing the book before the story even begins. It’s a lonely way to live, judging everyone from an ivory tower. Sometimes, they need to come down, hang out on the ground, and realize everyone has chapters they’re still writing.
4. Influence and Convincing Power
INFJs are so persuasive that they could sell ice to the Eskimos. They are masters at saying the right stuff the right way and can literally get inside your head. But they give it as a gift, and here’s the catch: they do it sometimes without even knowing it. You could be persuaded to have a cry in the morning. The first thing for INFJs is to ask themselves if they are utilizing their amplifying effects truly for good, as a means of actually getting what they want.
5. Difficulty Living in Reality
INFJs are people who are more introverted than extroverted; hence, they are more concerned with their imaginary world than their external, real surroundings. They always dream of imagined places, so they do not always notice the beauty of real things that are present next to them. It seems as if they are walking in a virtual reality environment. Snap back to reality, oh, there goes gravity. So, INFJs are the ones who turn their attention to the present and the here and now, by starting a meditation practice or simply having the discipline of pulling away from their thoughts once in a while.
6. Idealizing People
INFJs are the kings and queens of building castles in the air, especially about people they admire. But when those people show their human side, the castle crumbles. It’s a brutal fall back to earth every time. Is the lesson here? Stop looking for heroes and start appreciating humans. Everyone’s got dirt under their nails; it’s what makes us interesting.
7. Passive-Aggressive Behavior
A game of hide-and-seek is inconvenient for them. They can express it without directly addressing it, such as by leaving a note on your desk, giving you the silent treatment, or being passive-aggressive. It’s like a game of emotional hide-and-seek. “If you can guess why I’m mad, I’ll tell you.” People go crazy with this! It may be hard for them to be direct, but it’s the lesser of two evils that end sooner than expected. Band-aid time. This way they can reveal the cause of their discomfort just by saying it.
8. Cutting Off Toxic Relationships
When INFJs hit their limit, they don’t just burn bridges; they obliterate them. It’s called the “INFJ door slam.” And while sometimes it’s necessary to walk away, other times they might be throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Maybe take a step back, breathe, and see if there’s a less nuclear option.
9. Tendency to Bottle Up Feelings
INFJs are just like stew cookers, and if you keep it all inside (that is your heart), the pressure will burst. It’s not a question of whether, but a question of when. The explosion doesn’t make for a good scene. People feel wounded, and those things are said that can’t be taken back. INFJs would benefit from figuring out how to communicate their feelings to people and not letting them build up to a critical level. Chat with someone, jot it down, or let it burst into a pillow — just give it an avenue before it gets overwhelming.
10. Overthinking
Overthinking? INFJs have a restless spirit that never takes a break. They are a bit like an overloaded browser with too many tabs open, and system performance slows down. They troubleshoot every smallest detail, every word, and every probability until they don’t know what to do. It’s mental quicksand. The thing is, the best way to maintain sanity is to ask the question, ‘’What is?’’ rather than worry about all the ‘ifs’.
11. Grudge Holding
INFJs don’t just forgive and forget. They forgive and remember. Every. Single. Detail. It’s like they have a mental Rolodex of wrongs. But holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. They need to learn to let go, not for the other person, but for themselves. Free up some mental space for happier memories.
12. Manipulation Using Intuition
INFJs, due to their intuitiveness, have nearly become skilled telepathists. They seem to pierce anyone’s veil at once as if they have the talent to track the emotions of the people around them. It’s like they have emotional X-ray vision, seeing right through you. How amazing does that sound? Nevertheless, the issue arises here. This ability makes INFJs feel like superhumans who can predict people’s choices and reactions. In an attempt to fit the story they favor into their life situation, they can easily attempt to manipulate the outcomes. This power to be able to influence people through friendship lessons or even to shape a group is very tempting, and at times it’s hard to draw the line between manipulation and influence. INFJs should be cautious and be certain that their intuition, spending itself on raising is the only way it is used apart from maneuvering. All the same, as Spiderman once said, great power demands great responsibilities.
13. Abuse of Guilt
One of the unique things INFJs do is materialize their own passions, such as when a pianist plays the piano. Their strong empathy and the ability to read human emotions make the INFJs so smart that they can make people feel guilty without even touching them by pushing the right buttons. Sometimes it can be beneficial in that it is their way of informing others that they are hurt. However, at the same time, it is not the same not-malevolent signal but becomes a powerful tool for emotional manipulation to make others feel responsible for the INFJ’s pain to get what they want. There is a very difficult and ugly game of chess, such as these emotional states, where everybody ends up losing at the end. INFJs should cite their tendencies toward opening collaborations and feelings as a proper educational discipline rather than manipulative strategies.
