Holiday affair
From the very moment that we are mature enough to be socialized, we are conditioned to believe that sex is a deeply shameful activity that must be done not for pleasure but for societal benefit. Such notions of shame around sex can also make you question your own experiences with pleasure but you need to remember that your desires should be celebrated. Understand that when we are afraid that someone will judge us, it is because of our deep rooted self-judgment.
Look within, why do you feel that spending quality time and possibly having sex with multiple partners, when single, is wrong? You need to ask yourself a set of questions:
Q. How did you feel when you spent the night with his friends?
Q. Has your experience with them left a pleasant memory?
Q. If you were not in a monogamous relationship now, would you do it again?
If you find yourself answering positively to these questions, then you should not a disservice to your memory and try to make it something that it is not — a negative experience. As humans, we often tend to change the mood of our memories according to the situations we are currently in. Since you are in a monogamous relationship right now, your mind may feel tempted to transform a happy memory to one of shame — don’t let yourself go down that path, it brings no fruitful conclusion!
Whether you spent time with his friends or not before you ended up committing yourself to him, you don’t owe this explanation to anybody — you did not indulge in cheating! Ask yourself, do you want to live by moral codes set by a society that has little knowledge on the real benefits of sex and intimacy or, do you want thrive by your informed experiences of joy and pleasure today?
If you decide to go for the moral dungeon, tell the guy (because he is going to find out), beg for forgiveness and never visit Dubai again. But what pleasure does this bring you? Dating somebody can make you question a number of things — especially in a situation like yours but there are better ways to deal with this too. If you feel that pleasure and authentic intimacy make you a better person, have the conversation (I repeat, he will find out) and express how you feel for him now.
Realistically speaking, it could go either way but what matters is that you feel true to yourself. His reaction will depend on his social conditioning and level of self-awareness, not on who you are. You were not dating when you met these people and now that you wish to be in monogamous relationship, why should what you did before dating even manner? But if your partner decides to blame and shame you, then you are probably better off without him. If he replies with vulnerability, which could include expressions of hurt, you are set for a beautiful journey. You lucky human being!