My favorite sentence in here is “Who knew you could just drink water instead of debating whether it was half full or half empty?” Brilliant. I’m going to keep that in my little medicine bundle.
There were places in your post that were a little confusing, and I couldn’t follow. I think some of that is because of punctuation (commas that meant to be periods and vice versa). But I really loved it when you started stating what you were going to start doing. And I believed you. Welcome to the struggle of showing up.
The thing that works best for me as I embark on new commitments is to a) factor in that I will probably fail, and b) refuse to let that failure mean anything. I.e., if I miss a day, I will chalk it up to whatever, lose the drama about it, and then throw myself at the challenge again the very next day.