I do this series in my Core Story Club on facebook with what I call Core Story Writing Prompts. These are doors that we can open into our Engine Room so that when we do communicate, our words take on a juicy fire that cuts through the noise of clever.
So here’s mine for today. I have twenty minutes until I have to jet out of this coffee shop… so I’m giving myself a 5 minute timer.
The rules are:
Do not cross out.
Do not erase.
Do not stop.
If I were an action hero I would have long crazy ass hair and fly through the air in a witchy woo dress spiraling fire from my eyes to all the dead people who aren’t really dead but have forgotten who they are.
If I were an action hero, my name would be Wild Chuckling Wolf Woman who has a super hero ability of not taking ANYTHING too seriously. She cuts through ridiculous drama with one swipe of her claw. Her teeth grab on to stupid marketing and chew it to shit — spitting it out over the zillionaire branding experts whose brains have become computerized graphics zinging right, left, up, down, in placement, as if communication was a puzzle to be solved instead of lived.
If I were an action hero, I would eat raw muffins. What does that even mean? Really? I don’t know. A raw muffin has meat in it. It drips, it slips, it bites. It has nuts in it because all muffins have nuts. Well, all good ones do. I live on the West Coast and if you don’t have nuts in your muffins, well, you aren’t doing it right. The muffins we make here bite back. They gnash their teeth inviting you to just try to eat them all at once. They dare you to be full, to avoid the date — you can’t — the date is where the heart lives.
If I were an action hero I would never wash my face — it would have the scars of my battles with trees and branches across my cheeks — reminding me that smiling is just one part of how I feel. The stories tell me through the debris that I wear in my brows, my lashes, my hair. I would look like that crazy wizard in The Hobbit whom Gandal calls on. He has rodents and birds running through him and around him at all times. His twinkle lights up the forest.
If I were an action hero, I wouldn’t have to LEAVE right now to pick up someone I’m meeting at 8:45am.
If I were an Action Hero — I would fly instead of drive.