I think I have battle fatigue.
Between dealing with Matthew, dealing with my own issues, and hearing about current events, I’m hitting a wall. (I’m not even watching the news, but I can’t get away from discussion of it; and I think that being totally ignorant of what’s going on isn’t helpful.)
I just texted my sister to tell my mother that her Mother’s Day gift will be late.
I have a messy house and laundry to put away.
And I have not been sleeping well.
At least one study back in 2009 said that mothers of kids with autism had stress similar to that of combat soldiers. I believe it.
It’s a fight to get services for a child, and it’s a daily fight to deal with behaviors, appointments, echolalia, etc. etc. etc. We’re also facing high school graduation and Matthew’s transition into a new program (job skills training).
I have my own mental fighting that I do with past issues, such as bullying and spiritual abuse and everything that flows from that. And I also have physical conditions that my body fights daily.
And I think I’m just exhausted from all of the fighting I have done in my life.
This weekend, Frank, Matthew, and I are going on a retreat with the high school seniors in Matthew’s youth group. I am hoping it will be a chance to get away from at least a little bit of stress.
This battle-fatigued warrior needs it.