F*#! you Anxiety
You consume me once again and I hate you for it.
As we become more acquainted I realize that your grasp on me is strong. When I am under your spell I obsess. I become fixated on trying to control the things I have no power over.
I obsess about something today and I spend my day attempting to overcome my fear of the unknown. I make progress, but I wake up tomorrow and you have created a whole new problem for me, and I start all over again.
You waste my time.
You waste my energy.
I can see you as clearly as I can see my own hand in front of my face.
I know that you exist separate from me, yet you still consume me.
You are a shadow that hangs over my head, sucking joy from all areas of my life.
Sometimes you rest, and I am allowed peace and pleasure, but you tease me. You offer me a glimpse of freedom from your darkness. Then suddenly you come back full force, the contrast leaving me furious at your power.
I want you to leave me alone.
I want you out of my life.
I am not afraid of you. I hate you.
Why do you speak to me with such coldness that it chills the air around me?
I try to listen, but your words are empty. A hollow version of the life I know I am living. The thing that makes me lack in life, is your presence that pulls the light out of it.
You speak to me of danger…but you ARE the danger. Can’t you see?
Please, I beg you. Have mercy on me. Just leave me alone….