HAZAA! You’re spot on! If men, such as myself, are going to claim to be feminists than they are going to have to own up to the fact that their gender is the one that perpetuates this violence and is the source, and not get worked up when it is pointed out. Only by acknowledging this salient fact can we do anything about it, you can only change something by acknowledging that it is there and it is a problem. Patriarchy has been bad for men as well as it has forced us to be emotionally stunted and to default to violence as a way to solve conflicts. We can stop this only by acknowledging the reality of it on the ground. Until there is an honest reckoning, we cannot hope to change ourselves or the patterns of culture that perpetuate this tendency. I salute and applaud your efforts in this direction, this is important information as it can lead to behavior change. Thank you for posting this, and pointing out the very good reasoning why men are suspect, and why we need to question our motives. If we are to live up to our principles in declaring ourselves feminist than we had better do the work to be worthy of the name especially if it is the uncomfortable truth of confronting the darker side in ourselves, that which has been socialized into us. Call it the unflinching gaze, without we cannot turn this behavior around.