Dear Europe,

Please let us in if you don’t want more outs (I’m afraid this is just a French perspective).

My first emotional reaction when hearing the Leave vote had won was deep, cold rage. That was quite inappropriate a response and I didn’t expect being so angry, so I tried to sort it out.

As things are going today, nothing scares me more than being locked inside the limits of my own country. From the very moment in childhood I could speak out a few words of English, I was virtually loaded on the Normandy Ferries Leopard and shipped to Southampton. I won’t pretend I appreciated the first time, but people were nice to me and my English getting better I went to wait eagerly for my yearly departure in Britain. This is exactly what my war-born parents expected, and they added a similar annual trip to Germany for good measure. So my first irrational move was like my British fellows no longer wanted me to cross their borders and I felt personally rejected. But this was far from being enough to explain my resentment.

Most holidays I remember as a girl we spent car traveling through Europe, from Denmark to Italy, go and visiting friends or relatives. No need to say how deep my personal attachment to Europe is. So when the time came to commit for or against the Maastricht Treaty I naturally took my first vote in favor of it. As many European Federalists at that time I thought we had to move on and start some kind of a real integration. Economics are a language we all have to speak daily, so it might be the best way. Would it work it would be a big step forward achieving European citizenship.

This one actually was a good bet, because a few years later I got my European passport. And was blissfully proud of it. Yes I was.

And then I waited for Europe and its three pillars to learn dealing with its people along the way. I waited for the European parliament to show up as a real legislative power, the Counsel of the EU to become a democratic executive body, I waited for Europe to forge itself as a democracy. I waited for Europe to become my country. And what I got was a Constitutional Treaty with that astonishing Part III most French voters rejected.

The TCE was deeply influenced by the UK demand on a more liberal inner market. And Europe as it is today is most likely shaped as the UK wished it would be. I remember the French headlines disregarding vote against the European Constitution Project, and the despising columns that much stroke me, resuming : Why should a democratic process be allowed on subject matters these philistine voters don’t even understand? Indeed the Lisbon Treaty was later ratified with no further civic consultation. No debate. No education on the matters we philistine voters didn’t understand. So much for Habermas. That settled it and I European citizen went on with a feeling that something had really gone wrong, not being able to name it.

And thinking this over I knew where my deep irrational anger came from. I did all this to please you. Delaying the forthcoming Europe of peoples I’ve always dreamed of. And still you’re not happy with it. Still you turn your back on me.

As I said, this is irrational.

Now regarding Brexit I heard European leaders say — Hey ! The democratic process must be respected. The sooner the better.

And even it echoes my mood, this is weird. Being moody is something we cannot afford any longer. It sounds like : You’ve been a real pain in the neck and now You’re out we are gonna be able to deal with the European debt crisis and maybe survive China ! You are not leaving — We are kicking you out! And may You be doomed to recession inferno so that no other country never ever dreams of following you !

As I said, this is irrational.

All of this is dementia. We could have UK peacefully take its distance with EU without all this psychodrama and financial places crashing and people wondering how many passports they will have to acquire, would it have been a both side concerted agreement with two parties benefiting a good deal. Or we could even have UK remaining in the EU, would some political leaders have the wits (sorry). But unfortunately we do not have the necessary political maturity for that.

One of the root causes of Brexit is people not being able to engage with a higher level of government. Many have pointed out that the local regions most favored by European funding are the ones that most voted for Leave. Hum. Means people getting money but disheartened from involving in public action and social recognition, right ? Accidentally this notion of compensation and further basic income is insane as long as new ways of indexing work, wealth and value have not been experienced. People don’t like getting paid for being torn apart. They don’t like being compensated because the work they could do isn’t valuable anymore, or because the milk they could sell isn’t worth nothing left. It’s like rewarding failure. Compensation is not Counterpart. This is to be solved quickly because industrial times will never be back, but unfortunately it seems we do not have the necessary economic maturity for that as well.

I wasn’t born a European, I was bred a European. I then traveled through countries where people die of casual disease every day because of corruption, political lobbying, and a profound contempt towards “common people”. I know what that means, being European. It means political leaders being responsible for the politics they lead. It means educating. And not manipulating the democratic process as you want when it pleases you. And when far right arises, it means you national leader not saying you observed and you understood and you will change and then you’ll be elected.

There is no way compelling about the growing euro-skepticism. Every political leader knows it’s there. And what D. Cameron did, trying to turn it to its own advantage, is a national sport in France and many other European countries. This is a shame and History will judge them but whatever — we Europeans will have to deal with it.

Brexit is nothing but a symptom of illness we all suffer from, called the Europa paradox: wanting more Europe market made political Europe unfeasible, no political Europe comes to Brexit Grexit Departugal Italeave Fruckout litany, so basically today more Europe means no Europe at all. I dearly wish UK will quickly recover from it. I dearly wish Europe will quickly recover from it, but it’s quite an heroic assumption when Europe itself doesn’t let its citizens enter the healing process.