Adventures in Job Applications: Part 2

I have 3 interviews today and that will be fun. As much as it is nerve-wracking for them, it also gets me nervous. Will this person be the next ___ in my team? Or will I have to dial their number on an afternoon breaking the bad news in hopes their upset reaction won’t make me feel even worse?

I have some time in my hand, so today I’m logging into my email and sifting through job applications. Let the fun begin, round 2!

Dude, You Totally Google Translated Your Whole CV

My Objective
To create a campaign about a positive social activities and sustainable involving various parties as well as the entire community

He also worked in a news agency where he claims:

This is the year where I get the chance to manage a media English-language edition in (city) and I was able to rescue from a collapsed condition and reorganized its management so until now is running well despite not me who manage it.

Standing ovation for this hero, everybody!

Is % Your Skills a Thing?

I have 100% internet skills. HA!

The Dude Who Didn’t Even Need to Send a CV or Prove Himself A Good Candidate

Dear Mr/Ms
 My name (name), I am graduated from (University), major Electrical Engineer..i have 2 experianced..please give me oppurtunity to join the part time job..thanks

Yeah, I will totally contact you based on your 0.1% effort in applying for this job and vague body email. Also, dude didn’t read that this is a part time job for full time University students.

The Good Citizen

This nice girl sends me her CV - impressive skills, past experiences for a student. 3 page CV but I can tolerate that.

Then at the bottom of the page, under the section Summary after she says ‘I am a motivated person etc etc’, she says:

I realize that all my life, my values were based upon typical middle-class Indonesian value: Work hard, doing good, living well, owning things, following the rules and being the best I can be.

Ummm, okay good for you?

The Millennial

Wish I can enclose her CV right here for you cause this 21-year old girl just sent me a 3-page CV with her full social media accounts - that’s fine - and…3 selfies. Yes, 3 selfies in her 3 page CVs, just next to Education, Work Experience and all that.

Just 3 phone selfies.

The Body Positivity Movement Activist

No CVs enclosed, just this in the body email:

Hello my name is (name). I’m a fat girl. And I want to be a (job vacancy). I want to show the world that I can be a (job vacancy) too. I want to show them that everyone can be a (job vacancy). I want to show fat people that they can be everything they want if they fight for what they want.

Right on, gurl. Anyone can be anything they want if they fight for it! But also, you might want to show me your qualifications?

*

Unfortunately my inbox is clear, so Part 3 will come later when I have accumulated more applications.

Honestly, I think institutions should place an importance to train people on how to sell themselves, make better CVs and cover letters; these are crucial first impressions. I don’t have a perfect CV and hiring managers have probably laughed at mine. Nevertheless, these have been super entertaining on a gloomy afternoon.

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