The power of Death

Titas Nandi
Jul 30, 2017 · 5 min read

I have always been fascinated by the concept of “death”. You would ask what is so fascinating about the ultimate fate every human is entitled to. The real deal is that we vastly underestimate the power that death has on us before we actually die. And this power if used properly, can make our lives so much simpler and happier!

What is this power I am talking about?

Imagine you had only a few months left in your life, and to make matters worse, you know it! This might be hard, so let’s take a more relatable example from the book “The fault in our stars” . Hazel and Gus are cancer patients who meet at a cancer support group. Now for those who already know the story, I want you to imagine them as two separate emotions or ideologies, and not as two individuals.

1. Hazel — She knows she doesn’t have much time, so she does whatever it takes to make it less painful for the people who will live on! She feels unworthy of being loved, and keeps a distance from all attachments because she knows they are temporary. In her own words “I am a grenade!

Now, this is exactly what resonates in the mind when you are closer to death. This is the emotion of death, the great power it has even before touching our souls. And if you think about it, this emotion is prevalent in all of us. Think about all the times when you pushed away things that you loved, because you thought there would be a better time. About all the chances you didn’t take fearing it would be too hard! In some form or other, we think our life would unfold in three stages — where we struggle hoping to find happiness, where we attain happiness and where we try to shred it off to make it easier on us to die! The only irony is that the second stage is imaginary, in most cases, life turns out to be a smooth transition between a phase of struggle to find real joy and preparing ourselves for the ultimate showdown!

Now, if you are depressed thinking there is no way out, see how the exact same situation can give birth to something that is a real blessing!

2. Augustus — A normal guy with the same question lingering in his mind “I am gonna die, so what’s the point?”. But here is how he perceives it. He uses this to induce less fear, he uses this to take more chances, to make more mistakes. This is one of my favourite lines with Gus holding an unburnt cigarette in his mouth-

Why do we keep giving death the power to rule us even before we die? There is a reason why the line “The world is not a wish granting factory” deserves to be framed and put up on the walls. The world is crafted to let you keep struggling, wanting you to find happiness in a life you didn’t choose for yourself. And you must fight, choose the life you want to live in, not the crumbled mess so called “fate” chose for you!

I can bet that acknowledging that death is real and approaching fast is the best reason you can give yourself for doing anything and everything that makes you “actually” happy.

So, the next time you find someone you really connect to, do something about it.

Be nice and loving and humble and grateful to people you care about. Always think about the number of lives you are touching by being who you are, you can never tell how much you mean to someone.

Hazel — “I am mad! I’m mad because I think you’re special. And isn’t that enough? You think that the only way to lead a meaningful life, is for everyone to remember you. For everyone to love you! Guess what, Gus — this is your life! This is all you get! You get me, and you get your family and you get this world, and that’s it! And if that’s not enough for you, then I’m sorry, but its not nothing. Because I love you. And I’m going to remember you.”

Never refrain from the activities that make you feel alive! I almost cried when I saw the scene in Anne Frank Haus, I was there a year earlier, that pain when you know you have been stripped from life’s simplest and most fundamental pleasures, is inexplicable. Don’t do that to yourself while you are still breathing!

And finally, love like there’s no tomorrow. It really doesn’t matter if you are left broken or find a partner for life. Never step back from it, cause it is the purest feeling in the whole world. I often think we build love, not fall for it. We create it one tiny piece at a time, with conversations, with knowing and accepting the other person for who they are and not what we want them to be.

This is the only life that you have got, and you have the right to craft it the way you want. My grandfather is 88, and barely remembers anything. I have watched him closely over the years, he has always told me about his wedding day, how he was dressed and played a foghorn approaching the bride’s house. How he was an expert typewriter in his days. Now he sometimes asks me about those details, and everytime I tell him, he smiles. It makes me happy. I know it triggers something in his old heart and mind, some faint remembrance that he might have.

So, if your present life doesn’t give you such moments you would like to remember when you are 80, you are not trying hard enough. If you don’t choose your own life or the people who will make it worth living, then the world will do it for you, because