Welcome to an official walkthrough of the strangest, most bizarre game in existence. It will be in constant construction since I have a life and I can’t create this guide and play the game in one sitting. I’ve created many a worlds for this game and watched my parameters diminish so many freaking times. I leaned in on the Reddit community for answers, figured some things out — FINALLY. So here we are. I bequeath this pointless crock of knowledge to you all. You’re welcome.
General Survival Tips
1. First and foremost, keep all stats high. I’m looking at you, morale. Just because you survive in real life as a depressed and neurotic piece of shit, doesn’t mean you will in your hobo life. Neglecting any one stat, including morale, will sink all your stats quicker than it takes your daddy to rush out of the house to the store for some milk only to never come home. Smokes can help, but they will poison you. Keep them Playboys stocked, homie (they’ll restore 100 morale).
2. BEG. Run up on them whiny bitches and beg, immediately. Get that skill up quick. The higher your begging skill, the higher probability they’ll come off the money, and the more money you’ll get.
3. Know where all your stores are. There are 2 stores you can buy bandages from. I’ll include them somewhere in this piece of shit guide. There’s an outdoor store that sells some warm ass clothes, so you don’t have to live by the fire barrels (got to show some ankle and beg for that coin to buy them).
4. Stock up. Lemons, bandages, rolls or ham, coffee, and Playboy magazines. Keep a pack of smokes on you, too. This will keep your poison down, health up, hunger up, and morale up, respectively. I also buy a flashlight as soon as I can (any tobacconist has one), because them dark allies are a pain in the ass to navigate.
Main Quests
Why does my head hurt?
- Welcome to your homeless life. The first quest you wake up to is this. Visit your boy Maisner — he’s right up the hill. You can talk to him about the crazy party and try and get information from him. He’s pretty useless in this respect, but if you keep chatting with him, he’ll give you a few side quests where you can get some pretty useful items, like a bed and Lifebringer. Wala, useful. Maisner tells you to go visit Furgrim.
