My H&R Block Celebrity Tax Professional

Jose, Jose,

Your tax ad on TV.

Jose, Jose,

Yet no refund for me.

Jose, Jose,

You’re not an actor.

Jose, Jose,

(Based on your fame, doesn’t it seem like you shouldn’t have to work at a brick and mortar H&R Block location in Los Angeles? I mean, all people on TV are to some degree famous and therefore rich, right? That’s how it works, yeah? I know that’s true. Yes. For sure… Yet year after year [5 now?] you prepare my taxes while simultaneously appearing in ads on Univision. That’s a huge network! Not for me, but… I mean, the reason I don’t watch it is because I’m a non-Spanish-speaking American. Look, I could decipher some of the language because I took two years of Mexican in high school and some of it stuck with me, but in reality I’d be lost. Also, I get my nightly news from Twitter. Also, I get my sports from non-futbol ESPN. Also, I get my telenovelas from my distant relationship with my family [in English]. So, you know… do you really still have to do my taxes?)

Fame’s a non-factor.