I typically like to chronicle my growth by making a few lists every year — typically what I want to accomplish this year, what I’ve learned this year, and who I would like to thank for being in my life.

So without further ado, here are 11 things I learned this year.

1 / one
I will (and should) never be content with myself.
This sounds like such a self-hate sentence, but I have gone through cycles of contentedness in the past. And the common thread that ran through them all was that I became complacent. I realized that if I become content with myself, I will stop pushing myself forward and start accepting things just as is. To answer the unspoken question, “am I happy?” Yes, I am satisfied with my growth but I am not content. My accomplishments are small tokens of my pride, but they should not be blown up to feed my ego.

2 / two
I don’t always need to be the best; I just need to be good enough.
Thrust amidst a bunch of engineers, I am probably one of the few that has an art / design background. And truthfully, what I can do and what I know are very, very small compared to someone actually pursuing design. The notion of not being the best, or not being better than so-and-so, used to cripple me and ruin my view on life. In particular, art and design tend to become competitive and subjective. But my classmates don’t know that I’m not the best because they don’t focus on the same areas that I do; I stand out due to our lack of common ground. While it does hurt my ego slightly, I have come to accept that sometimes, being ‘above average’, isn’t so bad, especially if it means that my projects and resume design look better than everyone else’s.

3 / three
Not everyone can change, and that’s okay / sometimes, love is all you need.
I have come to realize that sometimes people simply can’t be changed. While personalities are malleable and flexible (to a degree), sometimes experiences can morph one’s own being so much, it becomes nearly impossible to change them. And in turn it can be incredibly hard to tolerate them. But I know that I am loved and at the end of the day, I can live with that.

4 / four
People need each other.
If you were subjected to my presence on a regular basis, you would constantly hear me complain about how much “I hate people”. But I have also made some wonderful friends this year, ones who make me incredibly proud to say, “I know him/her”. They keep me company when I’m lonely and ignore my weak protests to not bring me care packages when I’m sick. Sometimes, we even fight over who pays the bill. Nevertheless, I owe these people a lot, and I can truly say that I am much happier with them in my life.

5 / five
You will meet beautiful people in unexpected places.
As a student alternating between internships and study terms, I tend to be slightly apprehensive whenever I start a new internship. School is fun because I have my group of friends with me. But internships require meeting new people and learning a different set of social and technical skills. As an introverted individual, this proves to be fairly difficult sometimes. But I’ve been blessed to find myself in places filled with fellow students and supervisors who accept my company and my quirks, and who make me less hesitant to learn something new.

6 / six
You can’t force people to see like you.
I am not necessarily an easy person to get along with. I tend to get moody and dramatic, and I particularly excel in sarcasm and self-deprecating humour. I recently experienced an unfortunate run-in with a friend, where we were unable to see eye-to-eye on a specific topic. It ended with him asking if I was seeking validation and acceptance, and in that moment, I realized that he would probably never understand what I was trying to say. And that’s alright. Not everyone can be 3AM deep talks material. Different friends mean different things, and it’s pointless to impose a preferential mould onto everyone.

7 / seven
“Blood is thicker than water”
…is actually the exact opposite of what most people believe. “The blood of the brotherhood is thicker than the water of the womb”, commonly shortened to imply the opposite, struck a chord with me this year. While I come from a very loving family, from this I take away that I will maintain a basic level of respect for everyone, but I will dole out my real respect as I see fit. I am not obligated to respect someone if they haven’t earned it from me.

8 / eight
It’s okay to be alone.
I have nothing against relationships; in fact, most of my good friends are happily involved in long-term relationships. I ship them hard and I third-wheel at every opportunity possible. But as an individual, I am fairly satisfied with being single and relatively unattached. I initially struggled with this concept due to the widespread belief that relationships are end-alls and be-alls. I still have friends asking me if I’m looking for a partner. But the truth is, I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. The number one thing on my mind right now is to become better. And with the friends I have, I don’t need or lack anything.

9 / nine
…but I’m never lonely.
In my past school year, I lived with two of my closest friends and it was hands down one of the best times in my life. Being able to come home to them after a long day of classes was one of my favourite things to do. And while we’re now no longer living together (due to internships and whatnot), I still carry their memories wherever I go. The same goes for my other friends whom I haven’t necessarily seen for a while; I carry their memories wherever I go too. I am never lonely because I have them with me.

10 / ten
Things work in funny ways, but they always fall into place.
I knew I always wanted to pursue engineering above everything else. I eventually picked up drawing and painting, which I enjoyed very much. At one point, I believed that architecture was my calling because I felt it was a nice balance between art and math. I ended up realizing it wasn’t and then pursuing a more versatile engineering degree (which I do really enjoy), but I hadn’t anticipated my thirst for design to magnify more than before. I remember excelling in social sciences in high school, while I was only above average at best in maths and sciences; yet I pursued the latter because I reasoned that if I really enjoyed something, I would find a way to chase after it. Sometimes, I anguish over how I hadn’t chosen to pursue a design degree. But I truthfully wouldn’t change my foundation because if anything, my situation has taught me to be more resourceful and to chase after what I really want.

11 / eleven
I have a lot to be thankful for.
One of my friends told me, “I realized I have everything in the world except for the right mindset to appreciate it.” While I may not have that camera lens or that new car, I sure do have many other things to be thankful for — I have a great family who supports me in my endeavours, I have a group of friends who stand by me no matter what. My parents, God bless, are alive and healthy — a blessing, considering I have many friends who can’t say the same. I have a home, I have food, and I have an education. I might not be the best, but I also could’ve had it much worse.