I am not afraid to ask for help, it’s a sign of strength not weakness.
Please read that again.
The truth is that for 41 years of my life, I was not even close to being the best version of myself that I could possibly be-not even close. I have been sober from alcohol and drugs for more than 7 years and I’m doing everything I can to remain sober. It’s a daily challenge and I must be at my best to stay on the right path. It’s easy to justify a change in direction. But I’ve been to hell through my addiction and I’m not planning to go back.
Once I got sober, I had the idea of writing a book to communicate to others that it is not necessary to experience what I went through. I read up on depression and saw what a role it played in my life and so many others, and I never thought it was an issue for me, before seeing my doctor. After finding the right doctor who did four months of research with me, he diagnosed me with “severe depressive disorder that is recurring” and told me he was scared for me because not many people get through the other side with this condition. But, the doctor suggested a treatment plan and I have never felt better, thank God.
But, I found out through my research and my podcast, “Time Out For Mental Health” that If depression goes unchecked, people act out in risky behaviors such as alcoholism, drug addiction, pill addiction, anger and violence. This manifests itself into, arguments, physical violence, fights, domestic violence, rape, shootings and sometime death by suicide. Marijuana, heavy doses of marijuana was my risky behavior that caused so much strife in my life and severed so many of my personal and business relationships.
Look at just some of the suicides tied to depression, that we know of from people in entertainment and sports. Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, Ernest Hemingway, Welsh soccer player and manager, Gary Speed, Chester Bennington of the rock band, Linkin Park, Aaron Hernandez of the New England Patriots, Dave Duerson, Chicago Bears, Junior Seau, San Diego Chargers, Rashaan Salaam, Colorado State University, Dana Plato, actor from the show “Different Strokes”, Even Marilyn Monroe, Freddie Prinze, an actor and comedian, Margaux Hemingway, actor, George Reeves, Superman, Kurt Cobain, musician, Nirvana, and Paul Williams of the Temptations soul group. The list goes on and on.
Let that sink in for a minute.
Now, think of the people that we did not know that died by suicide caused by depression. Maybe there’s a family member. Maybe someone you know from work. Maybe someone from your church or synagogue. We never knew the cause until it was too late. All of these are preventable in my opinion.
800,000 people every year in the world, die from suicide, 3 million people worldwide have some form of depression (approx. 7% of world population), but only 150 million, or half of the people with depression, seek treatment for their depression. Studies suggest that for an individual with depression the risk of suicide is around 20 times higher than an individual without (NIMH).
It takes more courage to ask for help than not to. It takes a real man or woman to admit that there’s something wrong and they need help to manage their malady.
More than half of all people in the world with depression do not seek help. 90% of those that do, get better (CNN). If a person believed they had a heart condition or cancer would that person go to his/her doctor for help? Of course they would correct? Then, what stops approximately 150 million people with depression worldwide from asking for help with a mental health issue? The truth is that mental health is just as important as physical health and we rarely think about health in those terms.
Personally, do you want to be healthy and happy? Do you want to have clarity of mind so you can unearth your personal issues, that include mental health issues that drive your addictions? Do you value having happy and healthy relationships with your family and co-workers? Or would you prefer that you, or your wife/husband, or your son or daughter drive while buzzed or drunk or in a road rage, caused by depression to mow down three people or even worse engage in domestic violence or kill themselves and/or others one way or another? You want to roll the dice and stay ignorant of the facts? It’s up to you. But, take a look at all of the hate crimes, violence and senseless shootings in our country and the world today. Now take a closer look at asking for help.
I’m here to tell you that it is not worth the risk. I wasted time, money, relationships, jobs, marriages and my health and happiness due to my addictions caused by my misdiagnosed severe depressive disorder that is recurring. I was in complete denial. “Everything was fine” was the mantra in my mind. I did not need help, I was not reading my situation clearly.
It’s OK to ask for help. It does not make you weaker, in fact it takes more courage to ask for help.
