Farewell Uterus
Musings on a Hysterectomy
I’m sitting in the cold office on an examining table covered in paper that crinkles with my every move. I’ve been in this office too often lately. I know these pale blue walls, the ice-cold stirrups, the pictures of babies growing inside their mother's belly. The doctor is sitting on her stool, expo marker in hand, drawing a diagram of what my uterus looks like over a laminated photo of a healthy uterus.
This conversation is not a surprise to me. Yesterday, when the nurse called to say my biopsy results were back and the doctor wanted to see me tomorrow…I knew. I knew this conversation was coming. In the past few weeks, I’ve had exams, blood work, uterine ultrasound, and a painful uterine biopsy. I was prepared for this conversation.
“It’s not cancer yet,” the doctor looks me in the eyes, “but your cells are abnormal and you have significant scar tissue. I am recommending a hysterectomy.”
My partner and I ask our questions. I feel oddly, eerily calm. I am able to have a matter-of-fact conversation with the doctor. No crying. The doctor answers all of our questions and then we leave….to wait for the surgical nurse to call and schedule the surgery.
As I pick-up my 11-year old son from my friend’s house, the weight of this surgery hits me. My uterus is the womb that grew this beautiful boy…
