Of course, It’s All About Me #selflove

Have you ever had that dream where you are walking around naked in a public space? In the dream, you feel totally exposed, vulnerable, and nervous. Your fear heightens as more people look at you… and then it becomes a nightmare as one person points and starts laughing at you. Well, for writers, that is exactly what we feel every time we publish a piece of our writing. We are saying to the world, “Here I am. Here are my thoughts, feelings, vulnerabilities, and innermost workings, open and unprotected for you.” Usually, this vulnerability and openness are met with love, support, and kinship from our readers. Yet, we all know, there are haters out there. There are those people who take our vulnerability and mock it, laugh at it, and try to shame us.

I recently experienced a “hater nightmare” when I shared my reactions to Simone Biles's announcement that she would not be competing in the Olympics. In a public online forum, the hater commented, “So brave…to make another individual’s struggle all about yourself.” And wow- right there- with that simple, bee-sting sentence, I was transported back into my difficult marriage. My ex-husband would say things like, “Why do you make it all about you?” or, “You wear a sign on your head that says, ‘pay attention to me.’ or “Not everything is about you.“ Those words from my ex would send me into an agonizing shame spiral. Over my 19 years with…