Absent Father

This poem was originally written over two years ago. Still applies…

I don’t think you’ll understand how much your absence had affected me 
In the same house hold yet never there to be 
Be there for those special moments at hand 
I know you love me but you just don’t understand

The yearning I’v wanted for more than just “I love You’s” or bragging rights 
I wanted you there to see me in my light 
I wanted you there to cheer me on , and not just verbally but physically 
To dance with me at times a father was suppose to be 
Yet you never showed up for almost anything 
And what hurt me the worse is I’ve never had a dad to shower me 
Show me how I should be treated as a women

So instead I learned the hard way 
And searched for love every which way , Mostly the wrong way… Lust was a must, and looks always prevailed, didn't care if he sold drugs and would end up in jail

Making every mistake putting my heart at stake 
And when the one finally showed up and showed me what was up 
I almost ruined that too because I had that whole love thing misconstrued 
Love was confusing because I didn’t know what it was 
You see you never once showed me how a women should be loved

And I’m not bashing you, just want you to understand that fathers play a major role in a little girls hand 
Twice another has filled the role for a father daughter dance, 27 years old and still I just don’t understand

I know you love me but your absence has always affected me 
Moving forward I had to write this, 
So it won’t get the best of me.

I just pray that you learn to get right, two more younger sisters and repeating your mistakes just wouldn’t be right. 
Be there for them, because I need you to understand, it take more than ‘I love You’s’ for young girls to understand.

They need to be shown by actions and deeds, by daddy’s and positive male figures following Gods reads. They need to be shown so fewer mistakes can be made so they don’t leave home confused and later betrayed.

Be in our lives in a positive way, shower mom in unconditional ways. Show us through you that unconditional love is priceless, so we don’t leave your home expecting anything less than what we deserve as young women.

I need you to understand because I don’t think you know, please hear this better yet let it show.