How to Tell if Law School Isn’t for You
Have you ever been in a rut? Have you ever gotten home after work/dinner/hangover breakfast and thought to yourself, “This is the exact same thing I’ve done for the past [0–122] years, and I am SICK of it.” So you put on your pump-up movie, which is obviously Legally Blonde, and think “THAT’S what I should do! I’m smart and I want to help people, so I’m gonna go to freaking law school.”
Everyone around you says things like “Wow what really are you sure okay cool” and “You have a Bachelor’s degree in Theater and lawyers talk in front of people sometimes so I guess that makes sense” and you’re like “I KNOW RIGHT HOW DIDN’T I SEE THIS BEFORE!1!!`!`"
You fill out the applications. You take the LSAT. You get the recommendation letters, and you write the personal statements. Then, somehow, you get into freaking law school.
The summer before, I’ll be honest, is AWESOME. Your life has direction! You’re gonna be a FREAKING LAWYER DAMMIT. You’re gonna make changes in the world. You’re gonna work hard, make beautiful outlines, and answer hypos more often than you answer texts. Once you graduate and pass the Bar, you’re gonna have all of these fancy suits, a built-in excuse for not going to dumb stuff (“oh my gosh Carol I would love to come to your son’s First Poop party but I have this super important case to work on”), and a steady income! What does that even mean? I can get paid with money and not stage time!?
Summer ends, and you’re off to orientation. Reality sets in. You want to help people, you do, but you also want to not be a depressed alcoholic. You want to see outside sometimes. It’s not that you don’t want to work hard, but do you want to work hard on this type of material?
The classes start, and you realize that this is going to be your entire life (which you thought about earlier but THE SUITS). That built-in excuse? That’s also going to cause you to miss big milestones in the lives of people you care about. And helping people? Sure, you’ll get to help people, but not in the way you’re thinking. You’ll be in discovery or fact finding or some other crap for-freaking-ever. You’ll settle out of court 90% of the time. If you break a rule, you break everything (probably). You have to network and make people think you’re a competent and normal human based off of a conversation over a crab cake. For someone who doesn’t like rules or being the same as everyone else, in law, you’ll sure have to deal with a lot of both.
It sucks. Not law school, because plenty of people have gotten what they wanted out of it, but making the decision to leave. Even if you’ve only been there a week (who, what, ME?), getting there took a lot of work (and time and money). You feel silly and dumb. This is something you thought you wanted. And maybe you still do. I know I do. But, I want what I thought I would get out of being a law student and lawyer.
In reality, I actually get that out of being an artist. When I’m doing a show that makes someone laugh, it’s great, but it’s even better when it makes them think. When it makes them see a different viewpoint, and makes them want to fight for others and their rights that are diminishing every day.
We live in a messed up world. We may explode, or melt, or drown in the next few years. I’d rather spend that time doing shows with my friends that can start a chain reaction, than sitting in a classroom wondering how I’m gonna balance my weirdness with the rules.
Thank you, law school, for reminding me who I am.