Who am I now?
Reflections on retiring from the classroom
After 25 years, I decided to step away from the classroom. There is nothing that drove me away. I still looked forward to working with students, building relationships, designing the curriculum, and looking for new ways to engage and connect. All the factors that led me to retirement were outside the classroom — in my personal life.
But now that I can no longer call myself a public school teacher, I’m left struggling with who I am. After all, whatever one thinks about teachers or the teaching profession, it is a very well-defined occupation. And while I am still involved in education in various ways, I can no longer claim that I am a teacher in the traditional sense of the word.
“When you ask the question, “Who am I?” — if you have enough time and concentration — you may find some surprising answers.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Throughout our lives, we should reflect on who we are now. Changes in values and identity don’t just happen during our teen and young adult years. But retirement — like those early years — provides a milestone and a sense of freedom to contemplate the question more thoroughly.
So, now that I have the time and concentration (perhaps) to ponder the question, I’ll begin with the things I value and continue to work on.
Student Voice: Encouraging students to question, discuss, reflect, and advocate for themselves has always been one of the most important roles I played as a teacher.
Equity and Antiracism: Issues around equity and race have always been important to me, especially in education. Some of the experiences I value most as an educator involved supporting students who recognized and (at times) spoke out about injustice.
Civics and Democracy: Student voice and social justice work best when guided by and recognized as part of the democratic process. One I’m convinced students should be practicing rather than learning about.
I am fortunate to be a member of organizations that enable me to continue some of this work, most notably the Garden State Scholastic Press Association, NJ-HEART, and the Journalism Education Association’s Student Press Rights Commission.
Still, without the day-to-day interaction with students and educators, something is missing.
Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist Monk and author I quoted earlier, went on to say: “On a clear night, look up, and you can see that you are the stars above. You’re not just the tiny body you normally may think of as “yourself.’”
So maybe I need to head out to Cherry Springs State Park (the closest dark sky site) and do some stargazing. This is something I’ve always wanted to do. But I don’t think I’ll find my answers in the stars.
Perhaps I should be asking a different question: Who do I want to be?
