QuarterLifeCrisis

Mutiara Tambunan
Sep 3, 2018 · 2 min read

Walking home from office at night, I was thinking is it the life I want to live. Is it the path I want to follow. Is it the job I want to do till growing older. 3 or 5 years later will everything will be okay, placed in the best place it should be.

Something I’m feeling right now. I feel not think. I don’t belong here. In this position, condition, in this job. So many feelings and personalities I have to keep. High pressure, high risk, target haunts me every day. Prudent is a must. A must. Restrict me to apply something without thinking about this, this and that. Stay silent is wrong but speaking up will mess the situation. Being silent is really gold.

I don’t want to be tough but surrender like you don’t care about the bullshit that happens, what bosses say just to avoid the stress that will come if you think about it then still do your work like nothing happens. I don’t want to be patient, stand tall and persistent with all the babbling at my work, without giving any real alternative solutions. We all like save myself first when troubles come.

Do I become an ungrateful person in this planet? With all that I have right now. I can’t guarantee tomorrow will be better. The environment will be nicer, friendly. Finding a place that makes you comfortable, push you to do something great and beyond. This is the only thing I believe right now. Makes you feel peace and restful eventho you can’t beat the target because you do your best at something you love to.

The problem is me. Maybe.

Mutiara Tambunan

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im trying to write. and still trying~