The Dark Crystal Drinking Game

Stolen with remorse from


It fucks me up when my friends say they’ve never seen this movie. Do you remember that buzz article that said watching that part in the Neverending Story where Artax dies in the Swamps of Sadness is what fucked up my particular cohort of Milennials? Pretty sure they bring up this movie in that article.


Gen says ‘I don’t understand’ or says he can’t do things because he’s a Gelfling. (seriously, stop the self-hate bud.)

Any time a puppet fails to emote sufficiently.

(If this movie had people in it, Gen would be played by young Keanu Reeves. It would be his ‘Legend’, yknow?)

Any time you think the story sounds kind of racist? Or speciesist?

Whenever that Chamberlain Skeksis simpers (or simper along to annoy your friends).

Any time you are a little scared.

Triangle imagery.


Raise your glasses and sing along with the Mystics when they do that ‘aaaaa’ thing. Finish your drink at the end. Extra points for harmonies and good timing. Someone volunteer to refill drinks after because doing nice things is nice.

Anytime someone says ‘prophecy’, everyone repeats ‘prophecy’ and drinks. (Could also do this with the word ‘essence’ in the second half of the film if you’re feeling it.) Last person to do it refills all drinks.

Finish your drink because the dying Emperor is scary. Take your time with it, it’s ok.

Last person to yell ‘trial by stone’ has to refill all drinks.

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