Single Sex Schools — A breeding ground for strong confident women

Tolulope Dawodu
Sep 7, 2018 · 3 min read

I am a product of both co-ed and single-sex ed. I first started out in a co-ed secondary school but after my first year, I decided I didn’t enjoy my school. My skin was really sensitive and the forest-type environment didn’t help. I transferred to another school, it was an all-girls secondary school. There were significant but subtle changes overall, I was 11 years old but those memories are evergreen.

Looking back, I realize those years were formative. At the time, I didn’t comprehend the influence that those years would have on me. This Summer, I attended my cousin’s high school graduation from a christian girls’ school in California. As I watched the ceremony, I couldn’t help but be transported to my graduation 17 years ago.

I observed that a community had formed among the girls, a sisterhood, a confidence in their femininity, an assurance in their Christian faith. I marveled. Their years together had established their bonds. The challenges they faced including the death of their friend’s brother after they had spent many hours praying; their success stories, mentoring younger girls, playing soccer and lacrosse, planning for college etc. It dawned on me that womanhood had begun for these girls. Their futures were as bright as the sun. This bandwagon of confident faith-filled women could not be stopped.

This was me 17 years ago. Traveling down memory lane, I smiled as they chorused their school anthem in white robes and later filed out to “Feel the rain on your skin” blasting through the speakers.

For a while, there have been ongoing debates about the benefits versus challenges with having separate gender schools but here, I write in favor of them.

From our early years, we were not distracted by the presence of boys growing deep voices or facial hair. We focused on the changes going on in our own bodies. The very fact that everyone around us experienced the same changes, conveyed to us we were normal.

We competed fiercely against each other, because we wanted to win not because we wanted some boys to ‘notice us.’

We spent many hours studying, developing moral character traits and honing on skills. I do not remember spending any fraction of time worrying about whether a boy liked me or not. I saw boys on holidays, at school competitions, social events etc. They were just that, boys! Nothing more.

I didn’t spend hours making-up, curling my hair or painting my nails. There was need/time for all that. Because we were not competing against each for who dated the hottest guy, or fighting about stealing each other’s boyfriends, our energies were channeled towards building deep long lasting relationships. We cared for each other when one was sick, we shared milk and nuts, toothpaste and sometimes socks. We talked about our dreams and hopes, we tutored each other, mentored the younger girls (school daughters) and developed leadership skills. I was the health and sanitation prefect for the entire school among other responsibilities. Those days have culminated to the woman I am today.

We were a family. Many of these girls are still part of my life. There were many bad days, some sad days and some low moments. As with school, there was bullying, gossiping, fights etc. They are part of life. Recently, one of our schoolmates passed from Leukemia. While it was a very sad time for many of us, there was strength and comfort as we raised funds from across the globe for her treatment. It reminded me of my secondary school days.

As we mother children, and hold leadership positions, here’s a challenge for us to model and pass on the character traits that served us thus far and the faith that has stood the test of time. There’s something to be said about only girls’ school, they birth a solid sisterhood of women.

So much hope and promise — A graduating class from an all girls school

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