Having a queer place to hang

I first met Greg and Donnie because my ex’s school chum used to be their housemate. She told him and he told me that these guys were making a queer bookstore called the Bureau of General Services Queer Division (BGSQD). I say ‘making’ because at the time all the other exclusively queer bookstores in NYC had gone out of business (e.g. Oscar Wilde Bookshop).

I wanted to go and see for myself, step one.

Step two, finding common ground with Donnie and Greg (friend of friend, check).

Step three, common ground provides pretext for a double date… them, me and the ex.

Regular attendance at events, inviting friends to join me, and then inviting BGSQD to ‘pop-up’ at some events I had planned in a gallery and performance venue … steps four, five and six.

I would get to know them more and more with each encounter. I empathized with the challenges of starting up a small business (an independent bookstore at that) and cultural space… with their drive to create a sense of community and their thriftiness in partnering with one – and now two – gallery spaces to share rent and find synergies. From the audience, I could see how much Donnie admired Edmund White while giving his introduction … me too. Empathy, yeah that’s a step – seven.

Making introductions to resource people who might be able to add value or assist their project in some way, step eight.

Agreeing to help them think about building a non-profit board, step nine.

Being lonely a couple Saturday nights ago after a day spent by myself writing, needing to get out and be around people … preferably people who I knew and could be myself around. Going to their website to see if anything was happening: A band, called The Values, was playing at 8pm. Perfect. Hanging out, looking at books, listening to music, catching up, inviting friends to stop by, flirting, drinking beers, talking about steps 8 and 9. Having a queer place to hang, step ten.

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Last week I was in Amman (Jordan) and both Makan House and Books@Cafe have nice queer vibes. This week I’m in São Paulo and here’s a shout out to the Centro Cultural São João. The Occupation São João where the Cultural Center is located has a political sensibility that I really go for … check out our event there this Saturday. Oh yeah, Bluestockings and La Casa Azul are great places to hang in NYC for the queer and bookish, too.

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Originally published at unstitute.wordpress.com on March 27, 2014.