Cold little heart

Unfortunately and ultimately, we all have a share of pain. Whether it’s a fair share or not, you just gotta take it

I saw granny sobbing in her room, I stopped to affirm if that’s what was actually happening…she wiped her face with some material. She noticed me, but she didn’t know I saw her and then smiled. Elaborate facade. It hurt me to see her smile. No one should smile in pain, but we all do.

Everyone is hurting deeply (pain is inevitable), even behind the beautiful smiles we radiate. Aren’t we all beautiful?

I haven’t seen my dad cry (I heard he did too though), but I have seen him in pain, pain I never understood until his demise. When I eventually understood his pain it broke me in quadrillion pieces; why do we keep our pain to ourselves sometimes?

Cold little heart by Michael Kiwanuka, now playing…

I decided I’d quit writing in my journal, only because I’d exhausted it and I wasn’t willing to get another. Yes, I exhausted it; that’s a lot of noise to trap in a book. And maybe stopping it might be a bad idea because it has always somehow managed to sate my pain a little; and now…I want to live without my pain reliever. IT’S JUST THAT I AM TIRED OF BEING IN PAIN.

I know my depression might get bad again, although that’s highly unlikely but…

maybe this time I can be strong, but since I know who I am, I’m probably wrong (Michael Kiwanuka, ‘Cold little heart’)
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