The advice that I’ve heard countless times especially from my friends is to take interest in others & the things around me — ask people about themselves, and let them do most of the speaking. As I’m type of a person who seldom hears what others have to say, and have bossy personality, therefore, many people perceive me as an argumentative and arrogant person. But let me correct — I’m not; I mean, not to such extent as people perceive me. If someone just pops out of nowhere, and starts to irritate you without any reason or if someone is talking continuously without making any sense what would you do?
Yeah, this is what I look like when someone irritates me. But it doesn’t mean that I’m not a social person. In fact, I like social gatherings and I do value others because I feel everyone deserves the same respect as I want for me.
“Respect is how to treat everyone, not just those you want to impress”
I recently read the article “Do this and you will be welcome anywhere” from the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dan Carnegie and it really impressed me — this book is about “Be more human and a good citizen.” The things that I have learned from it are, criticism is futile because it puts a man in defensive position, and make him strive to justify himself, be honest with the person you’re talking to, get the other person’s point of view, become genuinely interested in others, encourage others to talk about themselves, and make them feel important.
If you read a book or an article and not to implement in your life, what you have learned from it — then it is meaningless. So, after reading that article, I took it as an Interested Challenge. I started to greet my college security guard every morning by saying “Asalam-o-Alaikum” and asking him “How are you?” I did this for 3–4 days the fifth day I took leave from the college and when I returned, he asked me “Why didn’t you come yesterday?” I was surprised; he didn’t know me for the past 1.5 yrs. even though I see him every morning. He never asked me that before, I smiled and answered — “I just didn’t want to.”
I took time to meet my juniors whom I never met, we talked a lot but during that time I just tend to listen to them, and only replied when it was necessary. And the result of that, I made 10–12 friends just in 20–30 minutes — Wow! I also started to greet every sweeper of my college and the result is that every sweeper, guard and my juniors all know me now and it all happens in just 5 days — isn’t it surprising.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
That challenge really taught me that;
“Winning people, isn’t done by putting your thoughts and ideas on to others but it is done by allowing you to understand the feelings of others.”