Is it even worth it!

I had one of those weeks where literally everything stood still. What I felt, what I thought, what I believed in, what I loved for, what stood for, what I long for, what I hated and what I looked up to.

Having one of those Friday nights where you don’t know how to feel. Should I be sad? Should I be happy? Should I be grateful? Should I curse? Should I laugh? Should I scream? Should I pray? Should I sleep on this anxiety? Should I forget? Should I, should I , should I?

I ask myself all this and I don’t know how to feel. I try to contain all these uncertainties. I don’t want anyone around me to see this weak moment of mine. I have to be strong for myself and those around me. I can’t show weakness at all cost. This is the only place I can shout how I really feel.

So I ask you, the you that is reading this. Is anything worth it? What am I supposed to feel when I literally have no one to confide in? Is it okay to table it here? Is it okay to say that I’m not fine? Is it okay to say that I’ve not been okay for months and I don’t know what to do about? Is it okay to be just me, to be myself and truly express my everyday emotions?