Good sleep is pivotal to both physical and mental health, and the lack of it will affect your productivity, energy and emotional balance. Research shows that poor sleep can cause weight gain, increased disease risk, and a reduction in brain function.

Curiously, not many people actually get enough good sleep — not just in terms of duration but also in quality. However, by adopting some lifestyle changes, it is possible to enjoy better sleep at night, leading to better health and an improvement in how you think and feel during the day.

1. Follow a regular sleeping pattern

As much…

relationship split

Romantic relationships can be a whirlwind of pleasure — having someone to call you, check up on you, offer you support and just do life with you. But what happens when that relationship ends, either as a break up or a divorce in marriage? How do the individuals involved in the relationship deal with the grief, heartbreak, and even physical pain at times?

Breakups are particularly heart wrenching because they diminish your sense of self, especially when you are used to doing everything with your partner.

To help you out, I’ll be sharing a few tips that can navigate you…


If you really want to live an emotionally healthy life, one of the most important things you can embrace is self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance means having an awareness of your strengths and weaknesses, and feeling satisfied with yourself, regardless of whatever flaws you have or bad choices you have made.

It means embracing all that you are without exception. It’s you telling yourself,its fine to be me.”

It’s rather easy to accept the perfect parts of our lives, but what about the imperfect parts? How do you deal with your perceived flaws and failures? I think you should acknowledge them too.


A few days ago, an old friend of mine sent a DM to me on Twitter, asking to talk about certain things that had been happening to him. A few moments into the conversation and I could identify that he was dealing with a very low sense of his self-worth which I found rather surprising because he was one of the most creative people I have ever met.

We got talking and I was able to give him a few pointers that he later confided that he found helpful. …


Have you ever noticed that most people are harder on themselves than they are on others? We are quick to tell our friends, “It wasn’t your fault,” when they make mistakes, but when the tables are turned, we end up blaming ourselves and brooding in regrets over certain things we did wrong.

The question then is why do we treat others kinder than we treat ourselves?

I think the answer is simply because we haven’t learnt to practice self-compassion, and I’ll explain what that is in a few moments.

Let’s be honest, life is hard and can be cruel to…


What’s the funniest joke you’ve seen on social media this year? Take a few moments and remember it. Did you smile and feel a little warmer inside? I bet you did.

Here’s what a lot of people haven’t realized: our emotions or moods are actually shaped by our thoughts.
True story. What you think determines how you feel.

Or how do you explain how pissed off you get when you remember a big fight you had with someone days ago?

Lots of people have developed certain thought patterns or thinking traps that always keep our…


This started out as a series of notes that I began writing for a bunch of people who ask me questions occasionally about life and stuff.

I shared it on my WhatsApp status and a couple of people asked for it, so I decided to put it up here. That way anyone who needs it can always refer to it. I imagine that the same words will apply in 2020 and 2021 too. I’m not sure about 2022 but when we get to that bridge, we’ll blow it.

For some of you, they’re not…

'Tola Oladiji

Psychologist. Emotional Wellness Advocate. Certified Life Coach with The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology. I want to help you improve your emotional health.

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