It’s the unbridled optimism; that’s what makes a bride beautiful.

The persistence of hope in the face of overwhelming divorce statistics. The ignorance of the weight of the storms caused mostly by money and meddling meddlers.

Then there’s the children- the impact of their presence and the pain of their absence in the face of infertility.

The drudgery, the sheer sameness of daily life and hustle leavened with stolen moments, laughter and the reminders of why you ever signed up “forever” with the person lying beside you.

Marriage is a social construct- togetherness a biological one. Evolution has made it make sense to “co-parent”; to share the load of ensuring the genetic journey continues. Nothing beats seeing the same twinkle in your lover’s eyes in miniature. It’s a joyous thing when your weirdness and their weirdness becomes a thing.

Perhaps that’s what was so jarring for me about Coldplay’s “Fix You”- marriage is the antithesis of fixing. It’s the two broken parts nestling together and making a mismatched, clumsy but functioning whole.

The Yoruba marriage prayer “May you find sweetness (in the travail)”. Ten years in, we found the sweet within it all. Enough to keep us going hopefully for the next ten. See you in 2026.

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